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jupiter7

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jupiter7

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  • Number of visits : 933
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 12:11am<b>unfortunatewsy</b> - the 06/20/2012 at 2:23pm

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jupiter7's favorite FMLs

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

#2850957
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67424) - you deserved it (4379)

On 06/13/2009 at 2:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

#2842632
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21938) - you deserved it (73125)

On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after being diagnosed with cat allergies, I explained to my cat-loving boyfriend that the doctor strongly recommended not allowing the cat in the bedroom. At 1:30 am my boyfriend got out of the bed to go sleep in the spare room because: "the cat is sad." FML

#2209571
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50346) - you deserved it (7954)

On 05/23/2009 at 12:07pm - love - by Ames (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and go to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled "I'M ON THE TOILET!" He said "ew.." FML

#2086057
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10051) - you deserved it (68926)

On 05/19/2009 at 5:51pm - misc - by June (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 years, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm not making this up. FML

#1604682
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (273216) - you deserved it (17633)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's very religious parents for dinner. Somehow we got to talking about her groin hernias that were repaired as a baby. I never knew she had hernias repaired and said, "But she doesn't have any scars down there." There was a long awkward silence. FML

#618069
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34267) - you deserved it (124817)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by douchetard (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend came over for dinner, but couldn't eat because he had just gotten his tongue pierced. My grandpa heard this, winked at my boyfriend and said "Can't eat now, but I bet that's all you'll be doing in a few weeks..." My super protective father was sitting right next to him. FML

#572670
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79165) - you deserved it (8849)

On 03/24/2009 at 6:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
337 comments

Today, I went swimming. As I was getting out of the very crowded pool a little girl ran up to me pointed and yelled, "Mommy, I want big boobies like that when I grow up." I'm 16. I'm a boy. FML

#522932
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71651) - you deserved it (23310)

On 03/22/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by joshinbaltimore (man) - United States (Oregon)



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