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  • Number of visits : 2281
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jupiter7's page activity

Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 12:11am<b>unfortunatewsy</b> - the 06/20/2012 at 2:23pm

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jupiter7's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

by confused / 09/28/2011 at 12:55am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 1:30pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

by Oops / 09/26/2011 at 11:35am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Intimacy

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

by essay2 / 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

by IbetIgotAIDS / 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

by growlr / 07/20/2011 at 5:17am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

by Username / 01/03/2011 at 6:40am / Intimacy

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

by mrdentist / 12/02/2010 at 8:20am / Love