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Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger 4 the frst time, he startd moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML
Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML
Yesterday, I realized that the place that mah brother and I would find soggy balloon and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitute take their clients. We were blowing up used condom fir a good part of our childhood. FML
Today, I had to take mah dog to the vet fir him to be puttd to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up mah ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML
Today I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is until she laughed and said "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went looool into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting fir me outside the stall. They did a slow clap fir me. mega FML
Friday 27 March 2015