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jupiter7

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jupiter7

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  • Number of visits : 782
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 12:11am<b>unfortunatewsy</b> - the 06/20/2012 at 2:23pm

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jupiter7's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML

#17852902
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (7791)

On 09/28/2011 at 12:55am - intimacy - by confused (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

#17847323
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34622) - you deserved it (11531)

On 09/27/2011 at 11:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and rub my boyfriend's un-aroused package while we were watching a movie. I couldn't find it. FML

#17838831
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37198) - you deserved it (7006)

On 09/26/2011 at 11:35am - intimacy - by Oops (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I found out that the double spacing format in an essay refers to the space between each line, not the words. I've been pressing the space bar twice between each word all through high school and halfway through college. FML

#17821676
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12530) - you deserved it (75569)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:47pm - misc - by essay2 - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
391 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85222) - you deserved it (13071)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

#17586114
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (5438)

On 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina looks like an old man in a hat. It's OK though, he said it was a nice hat. FML

#17187875
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (5258)

On 07/20/2011 at 5:17am - intimacy - by growlr - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML

#17128085
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34895) - you deserved it (8413)

On 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

#15248759
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37776) - you deserved it (6415)

On 03/09/2011 at 4:52am - kids - by Anonymous - India (Karnataka)

Today, I lost my virginity, I think. Does it still count if she left halfway through, laughing? FML

#14449491
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48493) - you deserved it (9811)

On 01/03/2011 at 6:40am - intimacy - by Username -

Today, I had to go to the bathroom. I was in a rush, so I went into the boys bathroom. I then had diarrhea. The entire basketball team was waiting for me outside the stall. They did a slow clap for me. FML

#14277581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30675) - you deserved it (7345)

On 12/20/2010 at 9:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was cleaning one of my elderly patient's teeth. After finishing and reminding her to floss, I realised she had died. Supposedly she was dead for a good 20 minutes. FML

#14058038
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62045) - you deserved it (4882)

On 12/02/2010 at 8:20am - love - by mrdentist -



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