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jupiter7

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jupiter7

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  • Number of visits : 835
  • Number of comments : 3
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 1:47pm<b>Owlnight321</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 12:11am<b>unfortunatewsy</b> - the 06/20/2012 at 2:23pm

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jupiter7's favorite FMLs

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22889) - you deserved it (18519)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

#19215354
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29337) - you deserved it (3866)

On 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was having a pleasant jog, that is until I was struck by the terrible feeling of an oncoming turd. Being only about 20 minutes from home, I thought I could make it back without letting the beast out. I was so wrong. The only thing I'm grateful for is that I was carrying the Sunday paper. FML

#19207356
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20674) - you deserved it (3192)

On 03/03/2012 at 3:27am - health - by fingerhut - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48533) - you deserved it (8162)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it. FML

#18937632
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48533) - you deserved it (8162)

On 01/28/2012 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Tiana - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend gave me twelve roses and told me that he would love me until the last one dies. Remembering the Facebook like, I began looking for the fake one but couldn't find it. When I pointed out that all twelve were real and would die within days, he responded, "Exactly." FML

#18936421
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33476) - you deserved it (3033)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:10pm - love - by Shelly P. (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

#18935378
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20550) - you deserved it (4261)

On 01/28/2012 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML

#18886717
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9258) - you deserved it (30626)

On 01/23/2012 at 12:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML

#18530892
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30400) - you deserved it (2105)

On 12/16/2011 at 9:06pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41371) - you deserved it (3063)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33384) - you deserved it (5418)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

#18374141
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28627) - you deserved it (8627)

On 11/28/2011 at 7:34am - misc - by Dani - Reserved

Today, my dad had his "sixteen years overdue" vasectomy. I'm fifteen. FML

#18367915
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26220) - you deserved it (2424)

On 11/27/2011 at 4:41pm - misc - by davidh5012 (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at the mall and started singing along to the playing of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas." A kid glanced at me and said to her mom, "She IS a hippopotamus." FML

#18358747
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30156) - you deserved it (9481)

On 11/26/2011 at 6:13pm - misc - by Person15 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend dropped by my work to break up with me. I had to go the rest of my shift with a smile, fighting back tears. I work as the Cinderella at Disney Land. FML

#18358033
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66603) - you deserved it (3226)

On 11/26/2011 at 4:54pm - love - by notsohappilyeverafter - United States (California)



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