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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
juliushater's favorite FMLs
by serenti / 10/13/2011 at 5:30pm / Sweden / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I overheard my husband talking to our 6 year-old about animals for a project. I listened, thinking it was cute, until my husband said gleefully, "Remember to say this in your project: octopuses have 8 testicles." FML
by daddoesn'tknowbest / 10/13/2011 at 8:24am / United States / Kids
Today, somebody ordered pizza and sent it to the house across the street from them, so they could shoot at the pizza guy with an air-soft gun from the upstairs of their house. I was that delivery guy. FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2011 at 4:17am / United States (Washington) / Work
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
by Anonymous / 09/10/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
by Shamed / 09/06/2011 at 4:06am / United Kingdom / Work
by foreseeingabreakup / 09/06/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy
Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML
by Anonymous / 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML
by Pool-less / 09/04/2011 at 2:09am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that getting caught in a barbed wire fence isn't as bad as it sounds. Running through a forest at night, tripping over one, rolling down an embankment, and getting swiped by a car, however, is. FML
by Why_Not31 / 09/01/2011 at 5:58pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was DJing on a popular local radio station when a pop-up window appeared on the station's computer. Of all the possible sounds that could have played, it was a girl screaming in pleasure. It went out live on air. FML
by djfail / 09/01/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy
by ScottishLad1 / 09/01/2011 at 11:24am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Miscellaneous
by WhatTheFaf / 09/01/2011 at 10:40am / United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire) / Work
- Today, I screamed so hard during a nightmare that I developed Laryngitis. I work in a call center.… Today my manager tried to force me to sign an employee contract (I've worked here a year) that she… Today, I finally went to talk to my neighbour upstairs. He is always throwing his cigarette buts on…