julieseattle

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julieseattle

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4691
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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julieseattle's page activity

Visits<b>seninaa</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 4:05am<b>KJKJK4</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 12:07pm<b>BeautifulChaos27</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 12:56am<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 7:27am<b>Aspireworks</b> - the 05/01/2014 at 1:18pm<b>cosicosei</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 2:01am<b>Andrewk45</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 6:02pm<b>Potteria</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 9:47pm<b>TinyTinkerer</b> - the 12/28/2012 at 5:14am<b>winterxroses</b> - the 12/13/2011 at 10:56pm<b>sxe_beast</b> - the 08/24/2011 at 5:54pm<b>Killerturtle</b> - the 08/20/2011 at 7:36am<b>mrahhhhh</b> - the 08/06/2011 at 6:30am<b>FarSide</b> - the 04/02/2011 at 10:14pm<b>Kua_Mei</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 8:45pm<b>Cenobyte</b> - the 03/29/2011 at 3:51am<b>Kesler_17</b> - the 03/28/2011 at 6:48pm<b>mylifesucksserio</b> - the 03/19/2011 at 10:33am

julieseattle's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of julieseattle's badges

julieseattle's favorite FMLs

Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML

by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health

Today, I found out my roommate had mistaken my toothbrush for his dog's. So for the last month he's been using my toothbrush on his dog. The dog's favorite meal? Fresh cat poop. FML

by Anonymous / 02/28/2012 at 1:20pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML

by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

by toomuch / 11/22/2011 at 4:36am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

by furryballoon / 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, like every day since my birth, my name is Spreme. Yeah, you probably have trouble pronouncing it correctly too. FML

by Nico / 11/12/2011 at 10:42am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 9:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had botox injections to stop my face sweating so much. Now the sweat is almost gone, but my facial expression seems to be stuck on "baffled." FML

by Anonymous / 11/07/2011 at 11:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

by Fought The Law / 10/29/2011 at 12:51am / United States (Georgia) / Animals

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

by Anonymous / 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

by mycedes / 10/26/2011 at 1:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He passionately laid me down onto the bed, both of us fully naked. Pressing down on my shoulder, he ended up dislocating it. The pain made me pee myself. FML

by Darcy / 10/26/2011 at 2:58am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy