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juju2468

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juju2468

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  • Number of visits : 384
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juju2468's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a dream about marrying Hitler. I've had this same dream three times now. My subconscious is starting to scare me. FML

#20766565
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45646) - you deserved it (4712)

On 07/06/2013 at 3:11am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

#20756642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51118) - you deserved it (8457)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was accused of shooting drugs at work. I was only feeding a baby bird that was tucked into my arm using a medicine syringe. I've been smuggling it to work because it has to eat every 2 hours or it will starve. Now everyone there thinks I'm a hardcore dope fiend. FML

#20751061
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43977) - you deserved it (7968)

On 06/27/2013 at 7:56pm - animals - by Gribby - United States (Missouri)

Today, while volunteering at a local museum, I politely told an elderly gentleman to have a nice day. He responded by yelling "NO" and storming off. Everyone looked at me like I was some sort of monster. FML

#20741264
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37939) - you deserved it (2841)

On 06/22/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by me - United States (Ohio)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73083) - you deserved it (7225)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

#20714140
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41130) - you deserved it (8074)

On 06/08/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by purged (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53955) - you deserved it (13428)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61125) - you deserved it (3017)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, the weather was beautiful, so I decided to go out skating. I guess I took a wrong turn into a bad neighborhood, because I ended up being chased several blocks by a group of jacked-up thugs wielding baseball bats and taunting, "Skate or die, homie!" FML

#20673360
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44374) - you deserved it (5957)

On 05/19/2013 at 4:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect in every way, except for her birth mark. It's under the corner of her left eye and looks almost exactly like a prison teardrop tattoo. FML

#20673142
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49991) - you deserved it (7007)

On 05/19/2013 at 2:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was in a big Skype chat, which somehow turned into a heated argument. My friend lost it, typed "your stupid" and called me a "looser." When I pointed out the irony of his messages, he rage-quit, drove all the way to my house, and punched me in the face at the door. FML

#20669389
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49737) - you deserved it (13527)

On 05/17/2013 at 5:16pm - health - by -1 friend (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me straight in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

#20662885
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45038) - you deserved it (3510)

On 05/14/2013 at 12:48pm - work - by sumhub94 - United States

Today, while doing a fun genetics game in Biology, I found out that I was adopted. Turns out the game wasn't so fun. FML

#20661511
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54337) - you deserved it (3037)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49286) - you deserved it (5277)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, I tried lying to my parents for the first time. My mother is a neuroscientist and my father is a psychologist. Somehow, they managed to make me admit that I was lying before I'd even finished. FML

#20646351
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30890) - you deserved it (39824)

On 05/06/2013 at 8:52pm - misc - by blondie107 - United States (Texas)



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