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jujeelie

Offline (the 04/04/2015 at 2:36am) | Search for a member

jujeelie

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 23 June 1988 (27 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 126
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jujeelie's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of jujeelie's badges

jujeelie's favorite FMLs

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

Today, my art teacher showed off a painting of his name he got in Japan. I can read Japanese, and it actually says "Old idiot". I really don't want to break it to him. FML

#21130223
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45374) - you deserved it (4750)

On 05/04/2014 at 2:12am - misc - by Sam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50202) - you deserved it (5105)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

#20835369
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50202) - you deserved it (5105)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my superior gave me a box of ethernet cables which were previously attached to mainframes storing classified data. He requested I cut them in half so that the residual data would leak out. Not only does this guy make twice my salary, there was no convincing him otherwise. We cut them up. FML

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51521) - you deserved it (5731)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while relaxing in a chair in a shop, a man approached me and said, "You have no idea how many times I've farted in that chair." FML

#20797188
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41017) - you deserved it (4255)

On 07/22/2013 at 7:49am - misc - by xXxXxTOBIxX (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

#20787584
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57475) - you deserved it (6808)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML

#20773595
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76395) - you deserved it (3865)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of. FML

#20755283
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51023) - you deserved it (3327)

On 06/30/2013 at 12:21am - misc - by whipplewhip - United States

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45611) - you deserved it (6849)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was walking down the stairs with my guitar in hand, singing "I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" to my wife. I sang, "I don't wanna close my eyes, I don't wanna fall". Before I could say "asleep", I fell down the stairs. My wife almost pissed her pants laughing. My bum hurts. FML

#20691071
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66170) - you deserved it (15103)

On 05/28/2013 at 12:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me seventeen years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

#20523889
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29676) - you deserved it (3938)

On 02/26/2013 at 11:50pm - misc - by Jan (man) - United States (Michigan)



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