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juanaranda1015's favorite FMLs
by juli / 07/24/2010 at 1:47pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Love
by poncho31 / 05/22/2010 at 4:08am / United States (Idaho) / Work
Today, after church, my 5-year-old son asked me about God, so I answered his questions in full. We talked about God for over 2 hours. At the end of it all, he pondered for a moment, before saying to me "That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. You're dumb." FML
by bleredoshia / 04/08/2010 at 12:27am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Kids
by anonymous / 03/07/2010 at 2:20pm / United States (Maryland) / Love
by juwkgo / 02/17/2010 at 10:05am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at a school rally I was talking to my friends when I noticed the entire gym had gotten quiet. Not knowing why I thought it would be funny to yell out "it's too quiet!" apparently it was a moment of silence for a teacher that had recently died. FML
by SadMan / 01/18/2010 at 7:41pm / United States (Iowa) / Work
Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML
by notexactly / 12/28/2009 at 7:48pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy
Today, I was on Facebook chat with my boss, talking about holiday hours. I had to go to my doctor's appointment, so I said, "G2G, love you" accidentally. Not only did he say it back, but he also requested a relationship with me on Facebook. FML
by ohshat / 12/22/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (Nebraska) / Work
Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school saying "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits". FML
by Anonymous / 12/12/2009 at 6:02am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by hockey / 11/26/2009 at 3:47pm / United Kingdom (London) / Transportation
Today, I went to a karaoke bar that my girlfriend works at. I'm a halfway decent singer, so I picked out a song we both liked and decided to give it a go. Halfway through the song I sneezed, tripped, fell off the stage and knocked myself out in front of my girlfriend and fifty bar patrons. FML
by helluvasinger / 11/12/2009 at 6:00am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my parking permit off my car to debate a ticket that I got for not having my permit displayed. Twenty minutes later, when I got back to my car, I had another ticket on my window for not having my parking permit displayed because I was using it to disprove the first ticket. FML
by Unlucky. / 10/16/2009 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML
by tooflufoschool / 10/14/2009 at 9:00am / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was invited to a birthday dinner at a restaurant. As I was leaving, I get a text from the birthday girl's boyfriend saying that it was cancelled. Hungry, I decided to go to that particular restaurant anyway. Turns out the party wasn't cancelled. Half the party just didn't want me there. FML
by Anonymous / 10/11/2009 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…
- Today, I went to a grad school fair. Tuition costs more than I make in a year. I'm thirty. I think… Today, I learned that if a friend ever suggests you sleep with her boyfriend, it's probably because… Today, a sweet old man came knocking. He asked about my elderly neighbor who he has been trying to…