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juanaranda1015's FML badges
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juanaranda1015's favorite FMLs
Today, one my friends died. All my crying gave me a headache, so I asked my boyfriend to bring me some aspirin. My headache didn't go away. Instead, I got diarrhea because my boyfriend gave me laxatives instead of aspirin as a "joke" to cheer me up. FML
by Anonymous / 12/09/2010 at 9:23pm / United States / Health
Today, while walking past a homeless man, I heard him comment on the woman in front of me saying, "I should come to this side of town more often, there's some hotties here." Then he saw me and said, "Wait, no, I think I'll stay on the other side of town." FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2010 at 8:49pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, a customer at the store I work at asked me what kind of cake I would suggest for her husband's 50th birthday. I laughed and showed her the Grim Reaper cake. She burst into tears and explained that he has cancer. FML
Today, I managed to not think too much about how alone I feel living in a strange city, and I went out to find a quiet place to write and eat. After I ordered my meal, I saw that I was the only diner that was sitting alone at a table. Then 'All By Myself' came on the radio. FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 9:29pm / Italy / Miscellaneous
by tattooed / 11/30/2010 at 10:50am / Ireland (Dublin) / Love
Today, I was at my psychologist's. We were talking about creative outlets and I told him that I wanted to start playing Dungeons and Dragons again. He starts chuckling, and then says, "Oh, you were serious." FML
by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 2:16am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health
by leilei / 11/29/2010 at 7:25pm / Philippines / Health
by wow / 11/25/2010 at 2:32am / United Kingdom (West Sussex) / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend was fired from the place we both work at because she's a bad employee. After they fired her she said, "If I go, I'm taking my best friend with me." So they fired me too. I actually liked that job. FML
by Anonymous / 11/24/2010 at 3:45am / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by Tasha84 / 11/20/2010 at 12:21am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
by bottomdrawerraider / 11/17/2010 at 12:13pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 2:51pm / South Africa / Animals
by nicki / 11/14/2010 at 12:18pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I tried on the new dress I bought for myself. I, for once, thought I looked pretty all right. I asked my dog, "How do I look?" and she threw up on my pillow. My brother can't stop laughing. FML
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Animals
by Anonymous / 11/14/2010 at 4:34am / United States (Georgia) / Health
- Today, I sprayed pepper spray on a guy who appeared to be following me. He was really cute, and was… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, on the road in China, I committed a small offense. A cop saw me, stopped me and told me that…