juanaranda1015

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juanaranda1015

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1992 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2102
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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juanaranda1015's page activity

Visits<b>Raleaf</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:45pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm<b>blurrr8</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:06pm<b>tehman117</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:04am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:32pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:46pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:04am<b>SirDirtyRedD</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:10pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:43pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 8:15am<b>penguinhalo</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:47am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 3:24pm<b>BlindDeafGhost</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 2:12pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Kellyexpo</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 12:16am<b>CanadiansPlease</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 8:39pm<b>duma191</b> - the 10/19/2013 at 6:32pm

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Consolation prize

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juanaranda1015's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk. As he got home he asked me to marry him, I was going to say yes until he said, "Oh wait, wrong woman." FML

by em / 02/05/2011 at 4:32am / United Kingdom (North East Lincolnshire) / Love

Today, my 400 pound roommate brought home a 400 pound guy. Now there's 800 pounds of sex going on in the next room, and it sounds like the invasion of Normandy in there. FML

by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend finally got me to orgasm, for the first time in my life, after trying for months. He started laughing when I climaxed. I asked why. Apparently I look like an Down's Syndrome child when I climax. FML

by Embarrassed / 02/03/2011 at 7:28pm / Intimacy

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Health

Today, I had an asthma attack because I was masturbating too vigorously. FML

by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm / France / Intimacy

Today, I tried to email my Dad a picture of someone we knew that I'd found on the Internet. He called me later to inform me that I had actually sent him a picture of myself in a naughty school girl outfit that I'd taken for my husband. My mom was laughing her ass off. FML

by Anonymous / 01/10/2011 at 3:55pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML

by AW / 01/10/2011 at 7:48am / Health

Today, I was out running. All of a sudden I saw a dog come towards me, I thought it was going to attack me and I screamed like a girl in front of everyone. It was a puppy wanting to play. FML

by BIZZMAL / 01/04/2011 at 9:44pm / United States / Animals

Today, while at a family gathering for New Years, my aunt said she needed a flat surface to write on. My dad immediately piped up, "Why don't you use Samantha's chest?" I'm Samantha. I'm also 18. FML

by ilik3catz / 12/31/2010 at 7:05pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my girlfriend of four years is legally married to a man in prison. He gets out next week. FML

by fouryearswasted / 12/19/2010 at 12:14am / United States / Love

Today, I saw a homeless man on the corner, I thought I would be generous and give him some cash. I rolled down my window and waved my hand for him to come over. As he was walking over, he was struck by another car. FML

by carson28 / 12/16/2010 at 9:23pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I was driving with my dog. Looking out the half-open window he stepped on the switch, the window went up, causing his head to get stuck. I looked down and he had scared the shit out of himself, all over my shirt. FML

by fufu_mutt / 12/14/2010 at 11:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

by uglywoman / 12/14/2010 at 3:21am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids

Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML

by parentfail / 12/11/2010 at 9:44am / United Kingdom / Kids