juanaranda1015

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juanaranda1015

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2369
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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juanaranda1015's page activity

Visits<b>Artures_way1</b> - the 10/01/2016 at 8:50pm<b>Raleaf</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 8:45pm<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/22/2016 at 8:56pm<b>blurrr8</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 5:50pm<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 11:06pm<b>tehman117</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 2:04am<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/28/2014 at 8:32pm<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:46pm<b>dimos4ever</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 4:04am<b>SirDirtyRedD</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:10pm<b>ilikeirony</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 1:43pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 8:15am<b>penguinhalo</b> - the 04/29/2014 at 10:47am<b>Jazzyw1997</b> - the 03/24/2014 at 3:24pm<b>BlindDeafGhost</b> - the 03/13/2014 at 2:12pm<b>GreenBeast</b> - the 03/05/2014 at 12:17pm<b>Kellyexpo</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 12:16am<b>CanadiansPlease</b> - the 11/14/2013 at 8:39pm

juanaranda1015's FML badges

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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juanaranda1015's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

by Unfortunate / 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

by Char / 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm / United Kingdom (Falkirk) / Health

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

by jcdc / 05/20/2012 at 11:03am / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

by 23yearoldtoddler / 05/18/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Kids

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

by Mini-wanker / 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

by ...... / 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

by lolzboss / 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

by notagoodsign / 02/28/2011 at 5:55am / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Love

Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML

by Anonymous / 02/25/2011 at 7:17am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

by Animal / 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

by storyofmylife / 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm / Canada / Health

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

by RyanM / 02/13/2011 at 4:01am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

by anonymous / 02/12/2011 at 12:48am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous