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juanaranda1015

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juanaranda1015
  • Town/Country : New York, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 15 October 1992 (21 years)
  • Number of visits : 999
  • Number of comments : 23
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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juanaranda1015's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28729) - you deserved it (8969)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

#20064659
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15052) - you deserved it (2970)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I spilled boiling water on my legs. A coworker told me that putting mustard on the burn would heal it. I ended up at the emergency room. When people walked by I could hear them say "it smells like hot dogs". FML

#19651204
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18322) - you deserved it (7525)

On 05/20/2012 at 11:03am - health - by jcdc - United States (Texas)

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

#19641324
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19068) - you deserved it (5427)

On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States

Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML

#18015213
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43687) - you deserved it (6108)

On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22910) - you deserved it (3031)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my five year old son decided to move all my stuffed animals I have around the house, into sex positions and massive orgies. What have I been teaching my son lately? FML

#15229654
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11183) - you deserved it (37513)

On 03/07/2011 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by lolzboss - United States (Virginia)

Today, while watching Animal Planet, I realised my boyfriend uses the Dog Whisperer techniques on me. FML

#15149183
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25344) - you deserved it (8007)

On 02/28/2011 at 5:55am - love - by notagoodsign (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I asked out a girl I like to a movie. She said "I hate babysitting." FML

#15112268
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29919) - you deserved it (4794)

On 02/25/2011 at 7:17am - love - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, my mom was snooping around my room, and found the unopened box of glow in the dark condoms I bought myself year ago. She laughed and said, "No takers yet, eh?" FML

#15102397
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29034) - you deserved it (14949)

On 02/24/2011 at 2:14pm - intimacy - by Animal (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. Everything was going perfectly, right up until he brought me back to his house to tell his family the good news. When I excused myself to the restroom, I overheard his mom say, "I thought you were going to break up with that stupid slut?" Welcome to the family. FML

#15091892
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35171) - you deserved it (3326)

On 02/23/2011 at 4:52pm - love - by storyofmylife (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend. I thought everything was going well, then all of a sudden she gets up and screams at me "IT'S NOT A TACO EATING COMPETITION, CHILL OUT." FML

#15087841
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20193) - you deserved it (40204)

On 02/23/2011 at 5:06am - intimacy - by failed (man) - Switzerland (Vaud)

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

#15057968
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38217) - you deserved it (4100)

On 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML

#14954867
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13601) - you deserved it (54997)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:01am - intimacy - by RyanM - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

#14944090
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27860) - you deserved it (4001)

On 02/12/2011 at 12:48am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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