This member hasn't filled in the description.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I noticed that in my cover letter I wrote "I also have an eye.", instead of "I also have an eye for details.", and I have been sending it out for the past few weeks. No wonder I haven't gotten any replies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6178) - you deserved it (19114)
On 11/14/2009 at 11:52am - work - by crazylobster (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I told my boyfriend how happy I was with him. He responded by pulling down his pants and slapping his ass. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26592) - you deserved it (4303)
On 11/12/2009 at 2:11am - love - by neuroticallyours (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I went on blind date with a guy because both our moms thought we'd like eachother. Things were going really well until I got up to go to the bathroom and he says: "My mom was right, you do have perfect breedin' hips!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29414) - you deserved it (2738)
On 11/11/2009 at 7:21am - love - by Starchyld (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30220) - you deserved it (11332)
Today, I told my dad that for Halloween I'm going to be an '80s workout Barbie. He just looks at me and says, "Yeah as the 'before' picture". FML
I agree, your life sucks (22305) - you deserved it (5746)
On 10/22/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by freshman15 (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my "future" wife got drunk in front of my parents, who she was meeting for the first time. She called my dad a piece of shit and told my mom she wants to tear her own eyes out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25377) - you deserved it (3976)
On 10/12/2009 at 10:52am - misc - by shocked (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I am in a very long line at the supermarket, gazing about in complete boredom when I spot a lady cradling what appears to be a cute newborn baby. Being enamored of all babies, I get off the line, go over and say "Oh, what a cute little baby!" The lady was holding a coconut. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6403) - you deserved it (36525)
On 10/10/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by BEE (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I played with a boomerang my first time. I didn't believe that when you threw it, it comes right back to you. It flew back all right. And broke my nose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8321) - you deserved it (30385)
On 09/24/2009 at 5:39pm - misc - by BOOMerang (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15474) - you deserved it (2686)
On 09/18/2009 at 4:41am - misc - by MissMSE (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I am still coughing. I was diagnosed with whooping cough last week, which apparently cannot be treated. Basically, it appears I'm a 19th century English peasant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (3008)
On 09/16/2009 at 1:33am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (51050) - you deserved it (11675)
On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I decided to check out my school's quarterback's Twitter, since we have a class together. He wrote, "Dear girl in front of me, I thought you were pretty until you turned around." It was funny, until I realized the timestamp was when we have class together, and I sit in front of him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (549)
On 09/11/2009 at 1:05pm - misc - by thatgirl247 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my teenage son called me at work and started screaming abuse at me. He told me how he never wants to see me again and hopes I die a gruesome death. Why does he feel this way? I beat his high score on Bejewelled 2. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40988) - you deserved it (6297)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:00pm - kids - by Bewildered (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)
Today, I woke up at my crazy ex-girlfriend's house, naked and disoriented. You know, the kind of crazy like we-didn't-break-up-it-was-just-a-fight-now-we-can-get-married crazy. She says everything's fine now and she's so glad we've "started our family." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38836) - you deserved it (11456)
On 09/10/2009 at 6:55am - misc - by drugged_on_arrival (man) - Virgin Islands British
Today, I switched from a pediatrician to an adult doctor. The guy was really persistant about a few personal questions. Then he brought my parents in the room and told them that I have an abnormally small penis and what remedies he knows of to fix it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46938) - you deserved it (2709)
On 09/08/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by dude5028 - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
