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Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML
I agree, your life sucks (63845) - you deserved it (5861)
On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21354) - you deserved it (4217)
On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45285) - you deserved it (7296)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (2692)
On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States
Today, my brother paid the DJ $300 to ruin my wedding by playing the Imperial Death March as I walked down the aisle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30663) - you deserved it (4018)
On 12/15/2012 at 3:52am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was T-boned at an intersection. In an ambulance. On the way to the hospital after being T-boned at an intersection. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28971) - you deserved it (1139)
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad turns around and says he was expecting him to have a guide dog. This is why I don't have much confidence in myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18652) - you deserved it (1155)
On 05/27/2012 at 8:31pm - misc - by hitnmiss66 (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)
Today, I was in a café when a construction worker asked to borrow a pen. The only pen I had on me was my brand new Parker, which I reluctantly loaned him. As he was writing, he stopped to think, and happily chewed on the end of the pen, which he later returned to me, glistening in saliva. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15298) - you deserved it (3359)
On 05/21/2012 at 10:48pm - misc - by BowlofCherries (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48421) - you deserved it (2261)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9720) - you deserved it (40038) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24360) - you deserved it (20081)
On 03/27/2012 at 1:51pm - kids - by azmom - United States (Arizona)
Today, I overcame my fear of swimming in lakes and went for a swim. I got bitten by an eel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23439) - you deserved it (2193)
On 12/07/2011 at 5:28am - misc - by wayne - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23432) - you deserved it (6436)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I decided to formally introduce my girlfriend to my parents. My dad took the opportunity to apologize for walking in on us a few days ago while we were having sex. It wasn't her. Thanks dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15018) - you deserved it (191923)
On 09/10/2011 at 2:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
I agree, your life sucks (27487) - you deserved it (3873)
On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)
Monday 17 June 2013
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