Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jrm97

Search for a member

jrm97

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 49
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jrm97's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

jrm97's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7065) - you deserved it (29145)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26911) - you deserved it (2208)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML

#19995628
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56512) - you deserved it (10347)

On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10937) - you deserved it (27064)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

#19276120
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (18099)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:51am - misc - by daddy-o - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28679) - you deserved it (2144)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad threw a waffle at my face for his own amusement. FML

#19144211
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24973) - you deserved it (5864)

On 02/23/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by ZeroApostle4Ever - United States

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46523) - you deserved it (3582)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me. But he justified it by saying she was a ginger. FML

#17738914
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31011) - you deserved it (3970)

On 09/13/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

#17457165
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17784) - you deserved it (32148)

On 08/13/2011 at 2:51am - kids - by brittbrat4 - United States (Florida)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55526) - you deserved it (4263)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

#13293107
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40261) - you deserved it (9442)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:08pm - kids - by blah blah daddy - United States (California)

Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML

#4229570
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62784) - you deserved it (6850)

On 08/02/2009 at 1:12pm - misc - by NoFriends - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

#4052312
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9504) - you deserved it (80137)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: