jrdnthms

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jrdnthms

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  • Number of visits : 217
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jrdnthms's page activity

Visits<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:50pm

jrdnthms's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

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jrdnthms's favorite FMLs

Today, I had this amazing dream that a beautiful girl was giving me head. It was getting really hot, so in my dream, I reached down to push on her head, but in real life I actually swung my arm down and punched myself in the balls. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2012 at 6:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

by randomguy / 07/09/2012 at 11:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my boyfriend still couldn't work out where my clitoris is. It's RIGHT THERE, you idiot. I've pointed it out, but each time it's like he needs a compass and a map or something. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 11:56am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, my mother said I am slipping too deep into depression since my boyfriend left for college in Fresno. Her solution: buying me a vibrator. FML

by kdmoney / 09/23/2011 at 2:16am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my dad found my "list". 32 guys, 4 girls. Colour coded as to who I would sleep with again and who I wouldn't, who were virgins, etc. He complimented me on my "organizational skills." FML

by reckless / 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my physics teacher accidentally lit me on fire. FML

by human torch / 03/18/2010 at 11:22am / United States / Health

Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML

by ohshit / 03/07/2010 at 12:25pm / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I turned 18. My parents gave me a card that read "now that you're 18, it's time for some boozy fun... you can do all the things you did before but legally!" Taped to the inside was my fake id that I "lost" three months ago. FML

by owned / 04/28/2009 at 10:12am / Singapore / Miscellaneous