Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jpallan

Offline (the 08/08/2014 at 4:58pm) | Search for a member

jpallan

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1981 (32 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1958
  • Number of comments : 71
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jpallan : My life has yet to be thoroughly f'ed, but then again, I probably just jinxed myself.

jpallan's page activity

Visits<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/15/2014 at 2:03pm<b>levodkamartini</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 9:14pm<b>avarland</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 6:28am<b>trex83</b> - the 03/06/2014 at 10:26am<b>xNuclear_Summer</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 4:40pm<b>ssseksci</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 3:43pm<b>sarah1024</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 1:28am<b>texaskitty86</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 10:52pm<b>Ashley2056</b> - the 12/15/2013 at 10:23pm<b>Minou</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 4:41pm<b>penguinazul</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 10:07am<b>slim_lady</b> - the 10/27/2011 at 2:53pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 09/17/2011 at 1:32pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 10:36pm<b>Karamelo</b> - the 09/16/2011 at 2:57pm<b>Egnar</b> - the 09/14/2011 at 11:38am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 07/22/2010 at 8:17pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 04/27/2010 at 9:06am

jpallan's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

jpallan's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47666) - you deserved it (3868)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

#3503607
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65168) - you deserved it (3687)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

#3205233
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60940) - you deserved it (3646)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
476 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70508) - you deserved it (4833)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
455 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40479) - you deserved it (140459)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
683 comments

I agree, your life sucks (696720) - you deserved it (55865)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: