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jpallan

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jpallan
  • Town/Country : Cambridge, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 22 September 1981 (32 years)
  • Number of visits : 1776
  • Number of comments : 70
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About jpallan : My life has yet to be thoroughly f'ed, but then again, I probably just jinxed myself.

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jpallan's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

jpallan's favorite FMLs

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45858) - you deserved it (3720)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of two years broke up with me because she wants to "become" a lesbian. I also learned that she's coming to my house for dinner tonight. My sister is her date. FML

#3503607
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61083) - you deserved it (3372)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:46pm - love - by fd_uplife (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

#3205233
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58564) - you deserved it (3453)

On 06/25/2009 at 3:15pm - misc - by Emptyspace (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, we got my brother a pet hamster because he has trouble making friends. We thought a hamster would be a good way to teach him about caring for others. I walked into the room and the hamster was hanging from the ceiling. Turns out there's a reason my brother doesn't have friends. FML

#2651635
475 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66950) - you deserved it (4527)

On 06/06/2009 at 1:51am - animals - by hamsterlovinn (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

#2244608
452 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34491) - you deserved it (114036)

On 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by helloitsbrian6969 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (656850) - you deserved it (48855)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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