josh5634

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josh5634

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 13 March 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1404
  • Number of comments : 121
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About josh5634 : Oh man. Theyir afta meh! Tha gramma nazisssss! Help! D:

josh5634's page activity

Visits<b>pianotie</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 4:48pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 12:37pm<b>C0bblepot</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:42pm<b>taranoelr</b> - the 12/17/2015 at 5:16pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:13pm<b>ilovemonkeybutts</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:34pm<b>goldengirlsfan</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 6:08am<b>fk18</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 10:43pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 08/27/2015 at 4:15am<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 11:56am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/02/2015 at 9:57pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 7:36pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 02/21/2015 at 7:32am<b>aspenmoon</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 3:25am<b>Lel_Man</b> - the 12/08/2014 at 7:38pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 2:50pm<b>Noodles666_</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 5:21pm<b>Majrdestroy</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 3:07pm

josh5634's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

josh5634's favorite FMLs

Today, some kids stole all four wheels off my car. They were nice enough to leave a note and some money though, "for the bus". FML

by teinage / 05/02/2011 at 2:47pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Transportation

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

by Damian / 04/22/2011 at 7:11am / Intimacy

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

by fail / 04/14/2011 at 6:27pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I confronted my husband about him being unfaithful. He said his reasons were because he's just not attracted to me anymore and my current weight repulses him. I'm six months pregnant with his child. FML

by Pregnant / 04/14/2011 at 2:28pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

by Anonymous / 03/06/2011 at 1:15pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Intimacy

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

Today, I had to fake fall down the stairs so my mom would stop texting and actually pay attention to what I was saying. FML

by anonymous / 02/22/2011 at 2:07am / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the vending machine, put in a dollar, and reached down to grab my snack. The slot door wouldn't open, so I pushed it harder. I got my hand in, but the door got stuck again, this time with my hand inside. I tried to push with my other hand. It got stuck too. FML

by CandyMachine / 02/16/2011 at 6:58pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was rudely stopped in the park by a woman screaming at me for being a slut for having a baby so young. She got so worked up that she started swearing. Not only was I just babysitting for a friend, I am unable to get the toddler to stop swearing. FML

by QuicksilverMaximoff / 01/30/2011 at 9:46am / United Kingdom (St. Helens) / Kids

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

by Anonymous / 01/24/2011 at 2:29am / United States (Utah) / Kids

Today, I was watching TV with my grandpa, and he stopped flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote landed on my stomach as my mom and grandma walked in. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML

by Andrew / 09/24/2010 at 6:22am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was woken up by my sister and her husband pretending to make moaning sounds in the room next to mine. I began to make moaning sounds as well to fight back. It turns out the "moaning" was actually their dogs snoring down stairs. Breakfast was awkward. FML

by jackson / 09/06/2010 at 1:02pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend questioned why I always put my shirts in the dryer right before wearing them. I told him it was because the dryer causes my shirts to regain their form and tightness. His response: "You should throw your vagina in there along with them." FML

by FYouBoyfriend / 08/30/2010 at 1:51pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

by shawty / 08/22/2010 at 8:14am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, my new $100 electronic cigarette came in the mail. I was so excited to try it out, I used it on the drive to work. The people who sold it to me weren't kidding when they said it looked and felt real. I threw it out the window when I was done. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2010 at 12:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Money