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josephmendesgigg

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josephmendesgigg
  • Town/Country : Las Vegas, Nevada , U.S.A
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 521
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About josephmendesgigg : Fuck yeah

josephmendesgigg's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

josephmendesgigg's favorite FMLs

Today, my 15 year old girlfriend called to tell me she is pregnant. Her dad is ex-military, and makes a point of cleaning his guns every time I go to her house. FML

#17010843
704 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16212) - you deserved it (86879)

On 07/07/2011 at 3:43am - kids - by shit - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

#16943359
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30565) - you deserved it (2965)

On 07/02/2011 at 12:46am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my math teacher brought his laptop to tally up all our scores for our report card. He then displayed the results on a big screen in front of the whole class. The ones who failed were marked yellow. I was the only one marked yellow. FML

#15025118
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23299) - you deserved it (18187)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by thestudent (man) - Philippines (Manila)

Today, feeling melancholy, I took a blanket out to the backyard and lay down to look at the clouds. My dad came out to ask me what I was doing. I told him, he smirked, squatted over my face, and farted. He then ran back inside and told my mom. She laughed. FML

#14490240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26777) - you deserved it (5407)

On 01/06/2011 at 9:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after much thought and serious consideration, I nervously admitted to my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. The first thing that he said in response was: "Want a threesome?" FML

#13495592
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14857) - you deserved it (34655)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML

#11028124
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36514) - you deserved it (6582)

On 06/07/2010 at 3:03am - love - by flipflop - United States (California)

Today, me and a couple of friends decided to go camping in a national park . When we got there, a ranger came up to us and said, "There have been many sightings of coyotes, don't worry, if they charge you, they'll bluff and flee at the last moment." We met a coyote, it didn't bluff. FML

#10594461
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24591) - you deserved it (2956)

On 05/17/2010 at 7:00pm - misc - by Coyote (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at work and I had to take a dump. Since I was the only person in the bathroom, I started singing, "I'm taking a poopy-poop poop poop poop." I was not the only person in the bathroom. FML

#7050962
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7561) - you deserved it (55073)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sneezed in the shower. When I got out, I got a text from my creepy old neighbor saying "Bless you". FML

#6563359
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45667) - you deserved it (3279)

On 12/02/2009 at 1:25am - misc - by errrmkl46 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was working on a client's roof. Some neighborhood kids thought it would be hilarious if they knocked over my ladder. I was stuck on this roof in serious heat. I caught the attention of a pedestrian to come to my rescue. It was a little old lady. She gave me the finger and left. FML

#4179768
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46425) - you deserved it (2026)

On 07/31/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by roofer (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was interviewed by this TV crew who asked me what I thought of Rhode Island being voted for the second most neurotic state. I thought they said that Rhode Island was the second most erotic state. I commented. FML

#3790297
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34176) - you deserved it (10914)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by newsgirl (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I decided to take a nap while babysitting my neighbors kids for the day. I was woken up by this obnoxious sound, only to find the youngest kid holding scissors in one hand, a pony tail of hair in his shorts jumping around like a horse, oh, and a bald spot on the back of my head. FML

#3620845
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16122) - you deserved it (48553)

On 07/09/2009 at 8:19pm - kids - by armybrat - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML

#3329727
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36385) - you deserved it (10410)

On 06/29/2009 at 1:07am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
485 comments

I agree, your life sucks (561511) - you deserved it (35267)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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