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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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josephenomenon

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josephenomenon
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 320
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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josephenomenon's favorite FMLs

Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML

#379076 (311)

I agree, your life sucks (369974) - you deserved it (52445)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to a birthday party for my friend's daughter. I picked up a gift for the girl and another for her parents. I got the mother a cute little garden stone that read "What our children see in the world depends on what we show them." Later, I found out her daughter is blind. FML

#334841 (70)

I agree, your life sucks (54076) - you deserved it (11986)

On 03/15/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML

#204444 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (17177) - you deserved it (81081)

On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML

#203455 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (97043) - you deserved it (4250)

On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML

#194587 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (60312) - you deserved it (15532)

On 03/03/2009 at 10:38am - misc - by asdfasdf - United States (Virginia)

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

#163929 (54)

I agree, your life sucks (53426) - you deserved it (2046)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm - work - by Grrrrr (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I'd be going on a trip to Europe. I assured him that I would never cheat on him with any european guys. He replied with, "Why would I be worried? You're not very pretty." FML

#146890 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (51303) - you deserved it (4606)

On 02/26/2009 at 8:42pm - love - by bilol (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I knew my girlfriend was having a bad day. I went to bring her frozen yogurt at work because she loves it. When I was in the elevator, I overheard her colleague saying that the reason she was upset was because she had been cheating on her boyfriend with her new intern. FML

#142506 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (78528) - you deserved it (2375)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by froyo (man) - United States

Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML

#139747 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (65189) - you deserved it (14218)

On 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm - intimacy - by jsw029 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called my boyfriend crying to tell him I had the most terrible day. He said I should come over, and he would make me feel better. I said I just want to snuggle, and I was impressed with his sincerity. Then he said, "Can we snuggle... with my dick in you?" FML

#121139 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (59218) - you deserved it (14935)

On 02/24/2009 at 2:31am - intimacy - by addictedtofml (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her, "Need a hand with that?" to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it." FML

#112379 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (71797) - you deserved it (16634)

On 02/23/2009 at 8:14am - intimacy - by Anonn (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted me to be her first and last...with plenty of people in between. FML

#102962 (73)

I agree, your life sucks (55407) - you deserved it (4238)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:10am - intimacy - by Charles (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, while working the register, a well dressed man around 6'3 came in and placed an order. After writing it down, I asked why he was dressed so nicely. He responded, "I'm going to court for stalking pretty girls like you." Our name tags have full names. FML

#102148 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (57828) - you deserved it (3558)

On 02/22/2009 at 3:04am - work - by ineedtomove (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

#90751 (49)

I agree, your life sucks (78538) - you deserved it (3147)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by screewit (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant with my boyfriend, he is 6'2 and i am 4'11. Out of nowhere, the hostess started openly flirting with him, and asked him if he needed a booster chair for his daughter. FML

#70392 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (58229) - you deserved it (3089)

On 02/18/2009 at 5:57pm - misc - by not-so-young-shortie (woman) - United States (Indiana)