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About josebeto1 : Hey
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Today, my coworker friend told me she was going to the restroom. Soon after, I did the same. Once in the stall, I could smell a stench emanating from the next one. I yelled, "Ew, you stinky bitch" and sprayed air freshener under the partition. As I left the stall, my friend walked into the restroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6502) - you deserved it (27037)
On 12/11/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by stinky (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24826) - you deserved it (6496)
On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after having had sex with my girlfriend for the first time the night before, she went to the doctor. He said she's still physically a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40605) - you deserved it (5774)
On 10/18/2011 at 1:34pm - intimacy - by Mini-wanker (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23109) - you deserved it (33648)
On 08/26/2011 at 9:13pm - kids - by f*ckingdisgusted - United States
Today, I learned that the "If I can't see you, you can't see me." rule is entirely false. Just because I can't initially see my creepy neighbor, doesn't mean he isn't watching me change my clothes through the blinds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19194) - you deserved it (2252)
On 08/26/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Peekaboo (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I thought I might need some anger-management classes, after I punched a hole in a kitchen cabinet when my dog wouldn't stop yapping every time the rooster my neighbors just got made a noise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7298) - you deserved it (15541)
On 08/19/2011 at 11:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I told my dad I was going to the gym. He stood up and clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19149) - you deserved it (7135)
On 08/18/2011 at 8:59pm - health - by kaitylait (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I discovered that my new college roommate not only makes casual conversation about his bowel movements, he also names them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7876) - you deserved it (733)
On 08/18/2011 at 7:44pm - misc - by Bill - United States
Today, the ex I still have feelings for made a post on Facebook announcing her two month anniversary with her boyfriend. She broke up with me less than two weeks ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (1804)
On 08/18/2011 at 4:25pm - love - by Chels (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (4053)
On 08/17/2011 at 9:51pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6502) - you deserved it (23574)
On 08/17/2011 at 7:37pm - love - by Username - United States
Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30180) - you deserved it (1880)
On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22733) - you deserved it (2971)
On 08/17/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by santasadiekins - United States (Washington)
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26075) - you deserved it (4731)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, I came home from work tired and horny, and asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go make love. While all she had done all day is lay on the couch and watch television, she said, "I'm too tired, why don't you just go into the bathroom and grab a quick wank." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (3824)
On 08/17/2011 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Frank (man) - United States (California)
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