Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jordi55

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

jordi55

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3180
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 5:32pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:11pm<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:08pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:00pm<b>idiotgenius</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 8:57am<b>justcause001</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:24pm<b>SandyBella</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:16pm<b>AHSFan</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:45pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 1:17am<b>mia2054</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 1:43pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/06/2012 at 5:47pm<b>ysrhael</b> - the 12/04/2012 at 9:00pm<b>Chrisuh</b> - the 07/07/2012 at 7:10pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 11:46am<b>hereinnc</b> - the 05/07/2012 at 3:39pm<b>inlove72</b> - the 05/05/2012 at 11:44am<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 04/02/2012 at 7:46pm<b>caranina</b> - the 01/16/2012 at 4:21pm

jordi55's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, after being yelled at by our boss because the office computer server has yet another virus, my co-worker and I did a bit of investigating. Apparently, the viruses aren't coming from client emails as we previously assumed. It seems that the problem is really our boss's porn addiction. FML

#18452728
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32669) - you deserved it (2246)

On 12/07/2011 at 1:43pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend shoved a Q-tip up my ass while I was brushing my teeth. FML

#18449583
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35362) - you deserved it (6641)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by Surprisebuttsecks? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I put a blue toilet cleaner square in the back of toilet. My fiancé called me later on freaking out because he couldn't get the "blue water to go away" when he flushed. FML

#18447759
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23084) - you deserved it (3022)

On 12/06/2011 at 8:38pm - love - by sparklethelette - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was watching porn when I heard my mom call for me. I closed my laptop right as she walked in my room. The sound, however, kept going. FML

#18428813
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18740) - you deserved it (42074)

On 12/04/2011 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by wowthatwould (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML

#18419129
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21375) - you deserved it (3217)

On 12/03/2011 at 1:11pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

#18417408
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33500) - you deserved it (5432)

On 12/03/2011 at 5:04am - intimacy - by trembelwick - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25207) - you deserved it (2997)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22452) - you deserved it (5661)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, I sat on Santa's lap. He got an erection. FML

#18404973
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40107) - you deserved it (9450)

On 12/01/2011 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by pops up - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went into hospital and was being treated by a really cute doctor. Not knowing that I was going to end up here, I put on novelty underwear this morning. Well, at least he found the little green glow-in-the-dark skulls amusing. FML

#18402920
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21082) - you deserved it (5251)

On 12/01/2011 at 12:09pm - misc - by Hot Pants (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was casually shopping at Walmart. Everything was normal until the young guy browsing the aisle next to me suddenly approached me and whispered "sperm" into my ear. My spine has never experienced a chill like this one before. FML

#18398754
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (3789)

On 11/30/2011 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

#18393889
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30642) - you deserved it (3242)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by Madi - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé insists that instead of kissing at the crucial moment of our wedding ceremony, we should give each other a high five. FML

#18392410
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40327) - you deserved it (5614)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:17am - love - by no low five (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

#18391386
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36378) - you deserved it (8195)

On 11/30/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by me - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML

#18390822
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (5311)

On 11/30/2011 at 12:39am - work - by immy504 - United States (Louisiana)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: