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jordi55

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jordi55

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3901
  • Number of comments : 50
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>royr7395</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:50am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:22pm<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:07pm<b>rlovetx</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:10pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:48am<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:49pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:07pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:16pm<b>AndyPurdy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:13pm<b>slouie</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:02pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:43am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:18am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:06am<b>acg7</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:36am<b>steftriv</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:14am<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:28am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:23am

Fucked!<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

jordi55's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

#18625590
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33881) - you deserved it (5343)

On 12/27/2011 at 2:53pm - misc - by ericane27 - United States

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

#18624537
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23917) - you deserved it (2688)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked into my elderly grandmother's trailer, used the bathroom and went to wash my hands. She had a soft spot in the floor that she covered with a bathmat. I fell through. Right leg up to my hip in the floor, boobs stuck on the counter. My husband and grandmother stood there laughing. FML

#18624537
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23917) - you deserved it (2688)

On 12/27/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 10-year-old brother got the bright idea to urinate in my oven to cool it off. My whole house smells like burnt piss. FML

#18624102
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32485) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/27/2011 at 10:53am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I drove 45 min from my college to surprise my girlfriend with roses after she got off work. She responded by taking the roses, dumping them in her back seat, and speeding off because she couldn't miss Survivor. FML

#18550642
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28319) - you deserved it (2886)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:44am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while having sex, my girlfriend suddenly broke down and started crying. Apparently, when I'm horny, my face reminds her of her dead dog. FML

#18550622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42628) - you deserved it (4253)

On 12/19/2011 at 1:43am - intimacy - by lovely (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I made a fake Facebook account for a girl, and then set my relationship status to make it look like the fake person was my girlfriend. Someone found out and hacked the fake account. My fake girlfriend just dumped me over Facebook. FML

#18547813
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9913) - you deserved it (58842)

On 12/18/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to dinner to meet my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I received a text message, so I pulled out my phone to check. Apparently, his parents have a "No phone at the table rule" and took my phone away until I can learn "proper table manners." FML

#18542598
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16422) - you deserved it (42382)

On 12/18/2011 at 4:59am - misc - by grounded - United States (Texas)

Today, I started to seductively kiss my girlfriend on the neck. When I asked her if she liked it, she said, "Yes, because I don't have to smell your breath." FML

#18517273
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24258) - you deserved it (24676)

On 12/15/2011 at 2:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to eat the orange I'd brought to work, but couldn't find it. After minutes searching, I found it. Nailed to the ceiling. FML

#18517264
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25916) - you deserved it (2551)

On 12/15/2011 at 1:57am - work - by Username - United States (California)

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

#18516515
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19174) - you deserved it (9552)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML

#18513189
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20890) - you deserved it (26196)

On 12/14/2011 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I accidentally called my cute boss "babe." I now have to pretend it's what I call everyone, and start calling all my coworkers "babe." FML

#18508459
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14071) - you deserved it (30646)

On 12/14/2011 at 12:18am - work - by Shelly - United States (California)

Today, I walked into my bathroom to find my girlfriend applying my deodorant. This would have been fine, if she wasn't applying it to her mouth. I don't think deodorant helps with bad breath, but a quick Google search shows that it does help with herpes. FML

#18506828
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43258) - you deserved it (3224)

On 12/13/2011 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by neednewdeoderant - United States (Michigan)

Today, my landlord came to my apartment because of complaints from my neighbors, saying that animals are not allowed inside. Turns out my roommate makes cat-noises when she's bored. My landlord still doesn't believe me. FML

#18501899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (2127)

On 12/13/2011 at 8:57am - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)



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