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I never take things to heart
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jordi55's favorite FMLs
by ChevRooon / 01/26/2012 at 11:46pm / United States / Transportation
by RequilaRainbow / 01/26/2012 at 2:34am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
by wish.was.single / 01/25/2012 at 1:33pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by talkingtoaretard / 01/25/2012 at 12:00am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 01/24/2012 at 3:22pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
by nacho / 01/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Love
Today, I tried to take a piss in the woods, but ended up peeing all over my feet. I still had to hike another five hours in wet shoes. My boyfriend's only comment was, "At least you didn't wet your pants." FML
by Dani / 01/24/2012 at 12:23am / Australia / Miscellaneous
by moe472 / 01/23/2012 at 9:47pm / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 01/21/2012 at 5:38pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML
by ohforcheese / 01/19/2012 at 3:19pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Health
by hurts.to.pee / 01/19/2012 at 12:14am / United States / Health
by MakesMeLol / 01/18/2012 at 5:30pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous
Today, while looking in the mirror at my full-blown grease-spewing acne-riddled face, my father came up behind me and said, "Don't worry son, I had acne like that when I was your age". I replied, "No you didn't", and his immediate response while laughing was, "No, I didn't." FML
by harshdoobie / 01/18/2012 at 10:18am / Canada / Health
Today, I'm supposed to start my new job as a Crime Scene Tech. Instead, I managed to electrocute myself with my hairdryer. I'll now have to attempt to explain to them that I really am qualified to safely operate an electrostatic lifting device, and other expensive equipment. FML
by Lyn / 01/18/2012 at 6:15am / United States (Florida) / Work
by too slow / 01/18/2012 at 12:09am / United States / Love
- Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his… Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we… Today, my boyfriend complimented me on how he liked my freckles down below. I didn't have the heart…