jordi55

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jordi55

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1955 (60 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6060
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>pheizer01</b> - 13 hours ago<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 11:35pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:49am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:05am<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 12:25am<b>Ruskiy_Cherep</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 9:32pm<b>melons</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 8:29pm<b>angelnursery</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 10:13am<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 9:34am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 6:51am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 11:16am<b>jslaton91</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 12:56pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:23pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:26am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 6:44am<b>warmonger711</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 5:09pm<b>jewgeta</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 1:23am<b>Icefire9461</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 10:52pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:26am<b>Fandomtaco</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:55pm<b>texasmade817</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:47am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

jordi55's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

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jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

by murphy22 / 08/24/2012 at 5:33am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

by thekriss / 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm / Love

Today, I met a girl I used to make fun of in high school. She was taking my fingerprints after I was arrested. FML

by TheBeautifulOne / 08/23/2012 at 9:42am / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to slowly explain to my best friend that when babies are born, the umbilical cord is attached to the baby's belly-button, not the mother's. FML

by baffled / 08/22/2012 at 4:36pm / United Kingdom (Norfolk) / Miscellaneous

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML

by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 12:04am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was out drinking with some friends in a Safeway parking lot, when I saw a familiar-looking vehicle pull up beside us. It was my dad, who angrily got out and demanded that I come home. I'm twenty-four, and now the laughing stock of my social circle. FML

by luvonsarah / 08/14/2012 at 1:27pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2012 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

by impickingyourhomegran / 08/13/2012 at 6:12pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML

by Anonymous / 08/13/2012 at 2:48pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

by Joe Lizen / 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

by Nomoreballs / 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Animals

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

by I_Has_A_Fishy / 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

by eggmarie / 07/10/2012 at 12:12pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

by Wwiimaniac / 06/25/2012 at 10:05am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous