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jordi55

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jordi55

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3900
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>royr7395</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:50am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:22pm<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:07pm<b>rlovetx</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:10pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:48am<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:49pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:07pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:16pm<b>AndyPurdy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:13pm<b>slouie</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:02pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:43am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:18am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:06am<b>acg7</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:36am<b>steftriv</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:14am<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:28am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:23am

Fucked!<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

jordi55's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

#20019125
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (1525)

On 08/13/2012 at 6:12pm - love - by impickingyourhomegran (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML

#20018849
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25611) - you deserved it (4575)

On 08/13/2012 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29500) - you deserved it (1883)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22316) - you deserved it (5903)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28107) - you deserved it (3113)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

#19844120
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (4879)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Wwiimaniac (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31305) - you deserved it (8763)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25666) - you deserved it (3318)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML

Today, I decided not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML

#19795334
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (5893)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Cassidy Bowen - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39766) - you deserved it (4249)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12881) - you deserved it (26681)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17547) - you deserved it (42824)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

#19705574
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17901) - you deserved it (1737)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)



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