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jordi55

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jordi55

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3529
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jordi55's page activity

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jordi55's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28044) - you deserved it (3110)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

#19844120
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21360) - you deserved it (4870)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Wwiimaniac (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29494) - you deserved it (8478)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25655) - you deserved it (3314)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML

Today, I decided not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML

#19795334
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24561) - you deserved it (5890)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Cassidy Bowen - United States (California)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37407) - you deserved it (4024)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12839) - you deserved it (26647)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, I finally summed up the courage to break up with my abusively controlling girlfriend. I don't know what I was thinking, but instead of leaving as a free man, I left as an engaged one. FML

#19705817
365 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17515) - you deserved it (42768)

On 05/30/2012 at 6:35pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, I met up with my dad after having worked abroad for the past six months. Apparently, during that time he's had a mid-life crisis or been snorting a few too many turds, because he's now some sort of hippie calling himself "Memnoch of Pleiades". FML

#19705574
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17861) - you deserved it (1733)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by wtf (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, after my credit card was stolen, the thief made donations to charitable associations. Now I feel bad for asking for the money back. FML

#18973351
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36478) - you deserved it (3540)

On 02/01/2012 at 11:35pm - money - by zobara - Switzerland

Today, while helping my mom to cook, I was reminded that when the fire alarm goes off in our house, dinner is ready. FML

#18967284
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19350) - you deserved it (2359)

On 02/01/2012 at 7:21am - misc - by JohhnyKeroscene - United States

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

#18954605
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23448) - you deserved it (9191)

On 01/30/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by upupandaway (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was standing in the bathroom and farted. It felt like someone stabbed me in the butt. I jumped out of shock, and my head slammed into the mirror. My glasses fell onto the floor and broke. I now need new glasses, a new mirror, and an ice pack for my head. All because I farted. FML

#18946444
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23160) - you deserved it (9956)

On 01/29/2012 at 8:27pm - health - by Rachal - United States (Pennsylvania)



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