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jordi55

Offline (the 10/10/2014 at 1:01pm) | Search for a member

jordi55

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2794
  • Number of comments : 40
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 1:17am<b>mia2054</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 1:43pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/06/2012 at 5:47pm<b>ysrhael</b> - the 12/04/2012 at 9:00pm<b>Chrisuh</b> - the 07/07/2012 at 7:10pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 11:46am<b>hereinnc</b> - the 05/07/2012 at 3:39pm<b>inlove72</b> - the 05/05/2012 at 11:44am<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 04/02/2012 at 7:46pm<b>caranina</b> - the 01/16/2012 at 4:21pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 01/16/2012 at 1:05pm<b>Cuervo23</b> - the 12/21/2011 at 1:37pm<b>mandaboo</b> - the 11/30/2011 at 1:07pm<b>Riiley</b> - the 11/29/2011 at 9:16pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:32pm<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 06/07/2011 at 5:22pm<b>BrotherTheo</b> - the 05/03/2011 at 9:13am<b>xashleyxdianex</b> - the 04/29/2011 at 3:59pm

jordi55's FML badges

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML

#20021726
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36041) - you deserved it (2067)

On 08/15/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, it's garbage day. My mom accidentally threw away a receipt she needed to return something and told me to go get it. While I was looking for it, a cop gave me hell for "stealing recyclables on private property." This all happened in my front lawn. FML

#20020707
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20664) - you deserved it (1534)

On 08/14/2012 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was out drinking with some friends in a Safeway parking lot, when I saw a familiar-looking vehicle pull up beside us. It was my dad, who angrily got out and demanded that I come home. I'm twenty-four, and now the laughingstock of my social circle. FML

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

#20020512
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19620) - you deserved it (1370)

On 08/14/2012 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. Midway through the ceremony, my grandma, who's tried to ruin every relationship to date, stood up and shouted that "it ain't right", "you're too good for her", and claimed my fiancée has been cheating on me, before she was finally ejected from the building. FML

#20019125
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (1518)

On 08/13/2012 at 6:12pm - love - by impickingyourhomegran (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML

#20018849
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25421) - you deserved it (4556)

On 08/13/2012 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my mom called me screaming and cussing because she found pot in my room. I come home and my dad says, "I hid some pot in your room and I'm not letting you go to that concert if you rat me out." My dad is apparently a blackmailing 52-year-old stoner. FML

#20006521
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28298) - you deserved it (1786)

On 08/06/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by Joe Lizen - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to an amusement park with my ex in the hopes of re-kindling our relationship. While taking a break at the petting zoo, I got rammed in the balls by a goat. She laughed and patted the goat. FML

#19920201
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20571) - you deserved it (5672)

On 07/10/2012 at 7:10pm - animals - by Nomoreballs (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26613) - you deserved it (2990)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, my power finally came back on. I excitedly went and spent $100 to refill my fridge, only to come back home and discover the power is out again, and might not be back on for another three days. FML

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

#19844120
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21227) - you deserved it (4859)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Wwiimaniac (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (8457)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

#19818500
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24580) - you deserved it (3214)

On 06/20/2012 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while giving my fiancé a hand-job, my ring got stuck in his pubes. We had to awkwardly get to the kitchen to get scissors. FML

Today, I decided not wear makeup for the first time. My boyfriend asked me if I got punched in the face. FML

#19795334
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24447) - you deserved it (5882)

On 06/16/2012 at 1:42am - misc - by Cassidy Bowen - United States (California)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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