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jordi55

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jordi55

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1955 (60 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5244
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>demix</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:59am<b>addioty</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:11pm<b>914smv</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:45am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:36pm<b>Fidge</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:39am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:25am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:50am<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:02am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:53am<b>Sunflora219</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:51am<b>confused_wandere</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:42am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:45pm<b>Mons</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:32am<b>holly_fly</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 2:26pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:29pm<b>toasted1</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:56am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:16pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:35am

Fucked!<b>texasmade817</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:47am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

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Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38695) - you deserved it (3919)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (3383)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. FML

#20148134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (4234)

On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27377) - you deserved it (7587)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23337) - you deserved it (6891) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (3783)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML

#20043150
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23372) - you deserved it (13207)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by unfucked (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38869) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

#20041168
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20605) - you deserved it (3347)

On 08/25/2012 at 3:11pm - animals - by missTyfied (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML

#20040876
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22245) - you deserved it (10219)

On 08/25/2012 at 11:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

#20040696
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22110) - you deserved it (8783)

On 08/25/2012 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

#20039589
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (3542)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm - love - by OMFG I LOVE MLP - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML

#20038908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23040) - you deserved it (2655)

On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)



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