jordi55

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jordi55

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1955 (60 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5606
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>shanewh40</b> - yesterday at 6:09pm<b>H3LL_K1D</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:14am<b>jdscott28</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 2:22am<b>jeaniest</b> - the 04/25/2016 at 2:27pm<b>Kitteh8601</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 11:01pm<b>plastix</b> - the 04/19/2016 at 4:09am<b>gagus123</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 6:44pm<b>FLTRU</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 3:11pm<b>samp_squad_23</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 2:35pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 04/15/2016 at 1:48pm<b>andrmac</b> - the 04/14/2016 at 1:10am<b>Role448</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:42pm<b>sloosh</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 2:09pm<b>n_a_v_y</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 11:17am<b>luther48</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 6:49am<b>aimeeowl</b> - the 04/13/2016 at 5:43am<b>Greatsoulme</b> - the 03/20/2016 at 9:00am<b>austinsixx1994</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 2:46pm

Fucked!<b>Fandomtaco</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:55pm<b>texasmade817</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:47am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

jordi55's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

by satega / 11/17/2012 at 4:15am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

by thanks, fuckface / 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

by NotAnExcuse / 11/07/2012 at 12:58am / United States / Transportation

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. FML

by Tj Hunt / 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm / United States / Love

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

by geena / 10/27/2012 at 2:42am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

by Display / 09/27/2012 at 12:10am / Health

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

by UnknownOperation / 09/04/2012 at 9:51am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML

by unfucked / 08/26/2012 at 7:18pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 1:46am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

by missTyfied / 08/25/2012 at 3:11pm / Philippines (Rizal) / Animals

Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2012 at 11:48am / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

by Anonymous / 08/25/2012 at 8:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends set me up on a blind date. I thought it went well, and while saying our goodbyes, I leaned in to give her a kiss. She pulled way, laughed, "I'm not drunk enough for that," and left. FML

by OMFG I LOVE MLP / 08/24/2012 at 5:00pm / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Love