jordi55

Search for a member

Online

jordi55

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1955 (60 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6214
  • Number of comments : 90
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 12:27pm<b>pheizer01</b> - the 06/30/2016 at 11:31am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:49am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:05am<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 12:25am<b>Ruskiy_Cherep</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 9:32pm<b>melons</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 8:29pm<b>angelnursery</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 10:13am<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 9:34am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 6:51am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 11:16am<b>jslaton91</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 12:56pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:23pm<b>nicolai44</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 6:44am<b>warmonger711</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 5:09pm<b>jewgeta</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 1:23am<b>Icefire9461</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 10:52pm<b>pagefault2k</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:30pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:26am<b>Fandomtaco</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:55pm<b>texasmade817</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:47am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

jordi55's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

by skinnybitch / 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Love

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 2:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 2:20am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

by Devil / 12/11/2012 at 1:07am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

by piemasterzim / 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

by jobsearching / 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

by anon / 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

by Chris / 11/20/2012 at 12:03am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Intimacy

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

by karmaquestionmark / 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

by NOIDIDNOT / 11/19/2012 at 1:21am / United States (Arizona) / Health

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

by lellow_171 / 11/18/2012 at 8:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

by jasmith / 11/18/2012 at 2:45am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

by schooyou101 / 11/17/2012 at 8:34am / United States (Kansas) / Love