Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jordi55

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

jordi55

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3534
  • Number of comments : 44
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>Donuts202</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:12pm<b>sdroze1389</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 5:42am<b>jenamalone</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 6:09pm<b>Jeromiah</b> - the 02/10/2015 at 8:47am<b>melons</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:51pm<b>Ruben_Jab</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 6:30pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 2:51pm<b>bvilleg</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 12:39pm<b>maximus_prime</b> - the 02/09/2015 at 10:53am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/08/2015 at 3:26pm<b>jad0016</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:13pm<b>erichanoki</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:01am<b>rjc490</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 12:54am<b>pizzaislyf4eva</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:37am<b>rachelpayne18</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 10:04pm<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 5:32pm<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:08pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:00pm

jordi55's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21730) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9789) - you deserved it (26177)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27123) - you deserved it (5553)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25300) - you deserved it (3045)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)

Today, just as I was about to orgasm, my boyfriend whispered, "Cum, my preciousssss" into my ear, in his scarily accurate Gollum voice. I think my clitoris just about withered away in despair. FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35957) - you deserved it (3659)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, knowing that I have been in a lot of stress lately, my friend tried to teach me how to meditate. Eventually, I ended up in a deeply relaxed state in which my mind was completely clear. When I snapped out of it, I realized I'd peed myself. FML

#20163308
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20667) - you deserved it (3004)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I received my first ever hand-job. It would have been great if she didn't wipe it across my face when I had finished and storm out of the room. FML

Today, a woman on the train demanded I give up my seat for her, claiming it was for people with disabilities. Tired from a long day at work, and seeing she had nothing wrong with her, I asked what her disability was. Apparently, obesity is one. FML

#20152323
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28634) - you deserved it (1910)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:58am - misc - by NotAnExcuse (woman) - United States

Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward 2 hours of my life. FML

#20148134
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33403) - you deserved it (3989)

On 11/04/2012 at 10:26pm - love - by Tj Hunt - United States

Today, while at work being a waitress, I gave my customer his credit card receipt to sign. Instead of giving him a pen, I pulled a tampon out of my apron pocket and handed it to him. FML

#20135099
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23832) - you deserved it (6891)

On 10/27/2012 at 2:42am - work - by geena - United States (Illinois)

Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML

#20057214
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27254) - you deserved it (3537)

On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend and I reconciled after having a huge fight last week. We went out drinking, and things got pretty intense, so we went back to my place. We made it to the bedroom, but somewhere between her taking off my shirt and me taking off her pants, we both passed out. FML

#20043150
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21334) - you deserved it (12620)

On 08/26/2012 at 7:18pm - intimacy - by unfucked (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to pee so bad that I ran downstairs with no glasses on and stumbled into the bathroom, half blind. I sat down on the toilet and realized just a little late that my older sister and her boyfriend were having sex in the bathtub. FML

#20042115
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36486) - you deserved it (3463)

On 08/26/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML

#20041168
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18032) - you deserved it (3038)

On 08/25/2012 at 3:11pm - animals - by missTyfied (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: