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jordi55

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jordi55

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1955 (60 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5241
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38705) - you deserved it (3995)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38705) - you deserved it (3995)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28686) - you deserved it (5547)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13079) - you deserved it (30348)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22891) - you deserved it (4419)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28918) - you deserved it (6090)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25402) - you deserved it (3291)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31769) - you deserved it (16765)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17157) - you deserved it (35111)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (2763)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25248) - you deserved it (3369)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11242) - you deserved it (28998)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my crush finally agreed to spend the night with me. I told my parents to act normal for one night. Apparently, "normal" is strutting around naked and acting like a chicken. FML

#20166401
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29439) - you deserved it (5876)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:34am - love - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML

#20166313
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)



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