Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jordi55

Offline (7 hours ago) | Search for a member

jordi55

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1955 (60 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5250
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>demix</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:59am<b>addioty</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:11pm<b>914smv</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:45am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:36pm<b>Fidge</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:39am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:25am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:50am<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:02am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:53am<b>Sunflora219</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:51am<b>confused_wandere</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:42am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:45pm<b>Mons</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:32am<b>holly_fly</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 2:26pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:29pm<b>toasted1</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:56am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:16pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:35am

Fucked!<b>texasmade817</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:47am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

jordi55's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

#20503190
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31195) - you deserved it (3552)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42815) - you deserved it (8400)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

#20502217
175 comments

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

#20497647
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18288) - you deserved it (28459)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

#20488428
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42325) - you deserved it (2436)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51876) - you deserved it (3904) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12844) - you deserved it (57919)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32426) - you deserved it (3934)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (3523)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32216) - you deserved it (3495)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32584) - you deserved it (6076)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44431) - you deserved it (2737)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21104) - you deserved it (8244)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (6253)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: