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jordi55

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jordi55

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3144
  • Number of comments : 41
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>hurtfeet</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 5:32pm<b>rjc490</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 11:11pm<b>NebulaNick</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:08pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 12/22/2014 at 2:00pm<b>idiotgenius</b> - the 12/19/2014 at 8:57am<b>justcause001</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 7:24pm<b>SandyBella</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 5:16pm<b>AHSFan</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 2:45pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 1:17am<b>mia2054</b> - the 01/23/2013 at 1:43pm<b>Trollx</b> - the 12/06/2012 at 5:47pm<b>ysrhael</b> - the 12/04/2012 at 9:00pm<b>Chrisuh</b> - the 07/07/2012 at 7:10pm<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/23/2012 at 11:46am<b>hereinnc</b> - the 05/07/2012 at 3:39pm<b>inlove72</b> - the 05/05/2012 at 11:44am<b>Sebastian_NG</b> - the 04/02/2012 at 7:46pm<b>caranina</b> - the 01/16/2012 at 4:21pm

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jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
410 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39775) - you deserved it (2442)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18933) - you deserved it (7795)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28468) - you deserved it (5777)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36103) - you deserved it (3741)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36103) - you deserved it (3741)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (5174)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11293) - you deserved it (27397)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19775) - you deserved it (3976)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25934) - you deserved it (5661)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22002) - you deserved it (2914)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend and I decided to be a bit naughty on Skype. It was 3am so we assumed that my dad was asleep and did some dirty talk. When we were done, I heard my dad laughing outside my room; he'd heard it all. FML

#20170222
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27961) - you deserved it (15314)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14995) - you deserved it (31290)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23998) - you deserved it (2559)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend and I had amazing make-up sex after a huge fight. Turns out he forgot to let me know it was actually break-up sex. FML

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML

#20167650
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21702) - you deserved it (3031)

On 11/18/2012 at 2:45am - love - by jasmith - United States (Texas)



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