jordi55

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jordi55

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1955 (60 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6047
  • Number of comments : 89
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 06/27/2016 at 11:35pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:49am<b>herecomestheboom</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 2:05am<b>bigbrown24</b> - the 05/31/2016 at 12:25am<b>Ruskiy_Cherep</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 9:32pm<b>melons</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 8:29pm<b>angelnursery</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 10:13am<b>ThrottleJockey</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 9:34am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 05/30/2016 at 6:51am<b>Toonice45</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 11:16am<b>jslaton91</b> - the 05/26/2016 at 12:56pm<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 6:23pm<b>Itineranthuman</b> - the 05/23/2016 at 10:26am<b>nicolai44</b> - the 05/19/2016 at 6:44am<b>warmonger711</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 5:09pm<b>jewgeta</b> - the 05/11/2016 at 1:23am<b>Icefire9461</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 10:52pm<b>pagefault2k</b> - the 05/09/2016 at 8:30pm

Fucked!<b>Toonice45</b> - the 05/28/2016 at 12:26am<b>Fandomtaco</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 6:55pm<b>texasmade817</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:47am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

jordi55's FML badges

I never take things to heart

Having said that, my 3 comments on that FML were really worth it.

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jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

by Anonymous / 02/13/2013 at 12:07am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML

by BadLuckCarson / 02/12/2013 at 12:55am / United States (Iowa) / Love

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

by thefriedman / 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML

by excusemeprincess / 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm / United States (New York) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

by fish killer / 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm / Canada / Animals

Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML

by Fireguy92 / 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Work

Today, during my first day as a medical intern in a new ward, I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream, "Who are you?! You don't even work here, you pervert!" FML

by dr mamour / 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm / Love

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

by anonymous / 01/30/2013 at 5:13am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

by ohfuckwaffles / 01/29/2013 at 12:28am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

by Creeped out / 01/28/2013 at 3:14am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

by it's just a name / 01/10/2013 at 12:53am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

by LearnGeographyUSA / 12/12/2012 at 1:45am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

by Anonymous / 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work