Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jordi55

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

jordi55

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3894
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>royr7395</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:50am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:22pm<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:07pm<b>rlovetx</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:10pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:48am<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:49pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:07pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:16pm<b>AndyPurdy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:13pm<b>slouie</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:02pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:43am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:18am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:06am<b>acg7</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:36am<b>steftriv</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:14am<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:28am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:23am

Fucked!<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

jordi55's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing your phone off the balcony and sticking your cigarette into your pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12161) - you deserved it (55630)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30220) - you deserved it (3749)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26151) - you deserved it (3218)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29798) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (5814)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
412 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41808) - you deserved it (2577)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I announced to my coworkers that I'd "fixed the massive problem" they'd all been complaining about. Eleven different people made guesses at what the problem had been, ranging from how bad I smell to if I had learned to brush my teeth. I just meant that I'd fixed the coffee machine. FML

#20201213
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19012) - you deserved it (7805)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:50pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, the guy I'm dating found out I have severe arachnophobia. He downloaded a picture of a huge, hairy spider and set it as background on my iPhone. I can't even unlock my phone, as every time I try, the spider pops up and I drop the phone. He laughs every time I do it. FML

#20200411
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28556) - you deserved it (5784)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:09pm - love - by skinnybitch (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36210) - you deserved it (3748)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML

#20200049
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36210) - you deserved it (3748)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML

#20199980
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26997) - you deserved it (5324)

On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11337) - you deserved it (27479)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

#20172556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19814) - you deserved it (3989)

On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I tried to motivate my 9-year-old sister to clean her room. She said she'd only agree if she could kill me. Thinking she was just kidding around, and not a total psychopath, I said sure. She ran to her room shouting, "Yes! I'm gonna use the big knife!" She's still cleaning now. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26048) - you deserved it (5666)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: