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jordi55

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jordi55

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1955 (60 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 5234
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>demix</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 6:59am<b>addioty</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 1:11pm<b>914smv</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 3:45am<b>ihavenolifehaha</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:36pm<b>Fidge</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:39am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:25am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:50am<b>ninjuh_wingman</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 9:02am<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:53am<b>Sunflora219</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 8:51am<b>confused_wandere</b> - the 01/19/2016 at 8:42am<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:45pm<b>Mons</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 9:32am<b>holly_fly</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 2:26pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 11:29pm<b>toasted1</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 3:56am<b>andrmac</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 4:16pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 8:35am

Fucked!<b>texasmade817</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:47am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45220) - you deserved it (4365)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

#20613954
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54904) - you deserved it (3613)

On 04/22/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35277) - you deserved it (121887)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32680) - you deserved it (11648)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42183) - you deserved it (3764)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)

Today, my 16-year-old son convinced my 14-year-old daughter that she wasn't allowed to use the ladies bathroom at the shopping centre, because she wasn't wearing a dress like the girl on the sign. He told her girls in pants always used the other one. She believed him. This is my legacy. FML

#20580049
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45268) - you deserved it (6667)

On 04/08/2013 at 12:26am - kids - by badparent (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML

#20574621
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56504) - you deserved it (18896)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my cat learned how to open doors. Ever since then she's been running up to my room, opening my door, and running away. My cat is playing ding-dong ditch. FML

#20559057
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36738) - you deserved it (4809)

On 03/25/2013 at 3:18am - animals - by Apes (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the smell of chlorine has started to turn me on, probably because my girlfriend has an indoor pool in her house. Guess who works as a swim instructor. FML

#20552149
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45268) - you deserved it (6257)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was cleaning a house. While dusting a rickety nightstand, a drawer fell open and a light-up dildo fell out and turned on. I couldn't figure out how to turn it off. FML

#20541893
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42112) - you deserved it (4618)

On 03/13/2013 at 9:36am - intimacy - by OptimusVader (woman) - United States

Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML

#20533456
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33173) - you deserved it (1996)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by evilsandwich (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34453) - you deserved it (2929)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9882) - you deserved it (54353)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)



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