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jordi55

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jordi55

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3887
  • Number of comments : 49
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>royr7395</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 7:50am<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 11:22pm<b>nwdt3621</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 8:07pm<b>rlovetx</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 2:02pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:10pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 04/16/2015 at 11:48am<b>mikelwhalen</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:49pm<b>gracehi</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 1:07pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:16pm<b>AndyPurdy</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:13pm<b>slouie</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:02pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:43am<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:18am<b>Violet_Embers95</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 10:06am<b>acg7</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:36am<b>steftriv</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 9:14am<b>___Unknown__08</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:28am<b>Corey122726</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 6:23am

Fucked!<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

jordi55's FML badges

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of jordi55's badges

jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML

#21396530
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25005) - you deserved it (3295)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:39pm - work - by notmysistersbf (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18771) - you deserved it (35634)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (5205)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29630) - you deserved it (13086)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29043) - you deserved it (10591)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML

#21328958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26471) - you deserved it (6268)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:18pm - animals - by TaddM21 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML

#21328432
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27634) - you deserved it (4410)

On 01/01/2015 at 3:52am - misc - by sandwhiched - United States (California)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40311) - you deserved it (4150)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42022) - you deserved it (4072)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I walked out of a job interview feeling confident because I'd really hit it off with the interviewer. He called me an hour later to tell me that I didn't get the job, since he was afraid we'd "get along too well and never get any work done." FML

#20613954
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52814) - you deserved it (3457)

On 04/22/2013 at 7:37pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mum asked me, "Shouldn't you be cleaning your room?" On impulse, I replied, "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?" I've never been hit so hard in my life. FML

#20612550
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32832) - you deserved it (112810)

On 04/22/2013 at 3:19am - misc - by Anon - Singapore

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (10837)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was yelled at while I was shopping by some lady, because she saw my tattoo on my arm. She screamed that I'm the "spawn of Satan" and told me I'm going to hell. It's a fake tattoo of Mickey mouse. FML

#20581879
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39992) - you deserved it (3598)

On 04/09/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by MickyIsEVIL - Japan (Aichi)



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