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jordi55

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jordi55

4Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 August 1955 (60 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4633
  • Number of comments : 57
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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jordi55's page activity

Visits<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 7:42am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 9:48pm<b>child_of_3_girls</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 2:08pm<b>texasmade817</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:47pm<b>Rocky351</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 10:27pm<b>chipmunkofddoom</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:21pm<b>whelp777</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:21pm<b>dearkaybob</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 9:51am<b>misicblaster</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:31am<b>boomHEADSHOTllll</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:13am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:13am<b>cgwg256</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 8:50pm<b>False_Stupidity</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 6:01pm<b>shmoooopie</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:52pm<b>skymachine</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:42pm<b>mgrazi99</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:42pm<b>hannahpk</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:29pm<b>Meagan9936</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:28pm

Fucked!<b>texasmade817</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 4:47am<b>KatieKoala</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 9:50am<b>patrickalamo</b> - the 04/28/2015 at 3:58pm<b>Purexinsanity</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 7:10pm

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jordi55's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML

Today, my fiancée called off our wedding at the last moment, because her neurotic sister thinks she's "too fat" to be the maid of honor, and says she needs several months to lose weight. So that's a few thousand dollars wasted. My fiancée says I'm "overreacting" and that I "just don't get it". FML

#21407311
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34400) - you deserved it (3027)

On 05/09/2015 at 3:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my mom called my workplace and told my boss to make sure I wear a hat so I didn't get heatstroke like I did on my last shift. I'm 25. FML

#21396530
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26704) - you deserved it (3434)

On 04/19/2015 at 10:39pm - work - by notmysistersbf (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, I got drunk at a party. I didn't want my parents to know, so I took out my phone, called my parents, and asked them not to tell them I'm drunk. FML

#21354315
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18818) - you deserved it (35722)

On 02/11/2015 at 7:40pm - misc - by SDCore (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I asked my friend to download Frozen for me, because my mom wanted to play it for family movie night. The movie was shit, but it got even worse halfway through, when it cut to hardcore porn and a text bar saying "umad?" Now I'm grounded, and my "friend" is a legend for his prank. FML

#21346882
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30077) - you deserved it (5218)

On 01/30/2015 at 4:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32925) - you deserved it (15322)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

#21341327
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30945) - you deserved it (11903)

On 01/20/2015 at 11:10pm - intimacy - by chelse_elyce - United States

Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML

#21328958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26562) - you deserved it (6278)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:18pm - animals - by TaddM21 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went on a road trip with my boyfriend and his best friend. What I thought was going to be a great, fun time ended up with me alone in a car with two large men who wouldn't stop farting for 14 hours. FML

#21328432
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28244) - you deserved it (4496)

On 01/01/2015 at 3:52am - misc - by sandwhiched - United States (California)

Today, my wife told me she had a surprise for me when I came home. Surprise to me means sex, not a new puppy. FML

#21293677
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31854) - you deserved it (14800)

On 11/06/2014 at 8:55pm - animals - by dwood08 - United States (New York)

Today, my boss asked about the mass of deep scratches on my arm. I lied and told him it happened while I was trying to save my cat from a tree. Truth is, my cat is a sadistic asshole who stalks me and mauls me whenever he can. FML

#21286814
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31731) - you deserved it (4995)

On 10/28/2014 at 3:40am - animals - by thewrittenrebel - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, as I was driving back home from my grandma's, I looked over at the guy in the lane beside me, only to witness him with a sandwich between his teeth and his cock in his free hand. Now I know why I don't leave the city, or even drive, more often. FML

#21006441
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41541) - you deserved it (4262)

On 12/26/2013 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by NNTA (woman) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML

#20663182
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44421) - you deserved it (4292)

On 05/14/2013 at 4:09pm - health - by DrewK (man) - United States (Virginia)



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