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jordanb19

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jordanb19

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1415
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 18 posted

About jordanb19 : ...

jordanb19's page activity

Visits<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:33pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:37pm<b>carecow</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 10:32pm<b>redwill85</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:59am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:59pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:46pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 2:06pm

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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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jordanb19's favorite FMLs

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

#21518208
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20775) - you deserved it (1366)

On 01/22/2016 at 2:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I absentmindedly smiled and told my grandfather to "have fun" before closing the door behind him. He was leaving to go to his chemotherapy session for lung cancer. FML

Today, my dad and uncle got in an argument over money and ended up fighting in the back garden. Only, my dad is a muay thai fighter and my uncle is an MMA fighter, and they're refusing to stop until one of them is out cold. I foresee me driving them both to the hospital before midnight. FML

#21516668
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20072) - you deserved it (1286)

On 01/18/2016 at 5:29pm - misc - by enya (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I took my labrador to the vet because he seemed really sick and wasn't acting like his usual self the past few weeks. The vet said nothing was physically wrong with him and that he's most likely suffering from depression. My own depression is why I got a dog in the first place. FML

#21515559
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20513) - you deserved it (1786)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:41am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out why this crazy bitch slashed the tires of my car to prevent me from going to my exam. It's because I'm supposedly the curve setter for the class and she wants to get into medical school without me fucking it up for her. FML

#21515273
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23469) - you deserved it (1633)

On 01/14/2016 at 5:21pm - misc - by notmyfault - United States (Indiana)

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

#21514734
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22489) - you deserved it (5898)

On 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by ShouldveStayedAVirgin - United States (Texas)

Today, I was out with my brother and his group of very cute friends at a Cheesecake Factory. When the server came to take our orders, she asked me what kind of sauce I liked. Like a complete fuckwit, I blurted, "I like creamy white stuff." The guy across from me choked on his water. FML

Today, I found out what unwashed, warty feet taste like after someone kicked me in the mouth with one. FML

#21513027
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (1694)

On 01/08/2016 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I accidentally edged over the speed limit and got pulled over. The officer asked me if I knew why he'd pulled me over. Before I could say something diplomatic, my dad said from the passenger seat: "Because you're a prick in fancy dress?" I got ticketed. FML

#21508071
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21930) - you deserved it (1963)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:37pm - money - by buttfingers (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML

#21508031
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19925) - you deserved it (2807)

On 12/26/2015 at 8:41am - misc - by -__- (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend backed out on our date so he could help his best friend get ready for some kind of drag queen competition. FML

#21502621
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18752) - you deserved it (6425)

On 12/11/2015 at 2:48pm - love - by strictly cum prancing (woman) - United States

Today, a colleague told me he was pretending to be me on a dating site, and that he has four pending dates. Last time I tried being myself, my first and only date pushed me down some stairs. FML

#21502145
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21355) - you deserved it (1548)

On 12/10/2015 at 3:19am - love - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka (Western)

Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML

#21501462
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20281) - you deserved it (1421)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:23pm - love - by Emma - United States

Today, my husband put on a nice suit and asked me out to dinner. When he found out I was on my period, he decided to stay home instead, since there was "no point" anymore. FML

#21501460
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25211) - you deserved it (2447)

On 12/08/2015 at 12:14pm - love - by alexa (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my friend took me tandem skydiving. When it was time to jump, he began crying, said he'd cut our parachute cords, then said "Goodbye, cruel world!" and pushed me off the plane with him strapped to my back. I pissed myself and cried like a bitch. He thinks his "prank" was hilarious. FML

#21500058
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26244) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/04/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)



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