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jordanb19

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jordanb19

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 764
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 18 posted

About jordanb19 : ...

jordanb19's page activity

Visits<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:33pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:37pm<b>carecow</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 10:32pm<b>redwill85</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:59am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:59pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:46pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 2:06pm

jordanb19's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of jordanb19's badges

jordanb19's favorite FMLs

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7741) - you deserved it (478)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML

#21435950
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7957) - you deserved it (1037)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me while I was at work. He sounded very excited and told me he had a surprise for me. He doesn't usually do this kind of thing, so I was excited. When I came home, I found him naked, with "Bone Appetite" written right above his penis. FML

#21432853
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (3313)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by stillhungry - United States (California)

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26667) - you deserved it (3558)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's parents' house for lunch. I ended up in the bathroom constipated and remembered reading it's easier to "go" if you are squatting. My girlfriend's dad walked in on me perched on the toilet like an owl. FML

#21430214
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24061) - you deserved it (4477)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:58pm - health - by oh no (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized I'm pregnant by a man who won't even accept my Facebook friend request. FML

#21429134
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22295) - you deserved it (17835)

On 06/20/2015 at 4:54pm - misc - by happycow122 (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a cute guy asked me if I was single. When I said yes, he said "Yeah, you look like the type", and walked away. FML

#21428639
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (2003)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:51pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (11548)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

#21425623
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23840) - you deserved it (3376)

On 06/13/2015 at 9:27pm - animals - by patient_mom - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me, got up, and slammed the door. FML

#21424579
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32468) - you deserved it (2266)

On 06/11/2015 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by lolatmylovelife - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29495) - you deserved it (8586)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML

#21424409
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23478) - you deserved it (2095)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

#21422763
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (1843)

On 06/08/2015 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend to come hang out with me. He said he was busy and had to do homework. Since he never studies, I got suspicious and went to check up on him. I found him playing dress-up with his cat. He's 17. FML

#21421616
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26860) - you deserved it (4315)

On 06/06/2015 at 1:52am - animals - by iamfab - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

#21421518
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27780) - you deserved it (4967)

On 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm - love - by CassidyQueen - United States (Missouri)



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