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jordanb19

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jordanb19

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 306
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 18 posted

About jordanb19 : ...

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Visits<b>nightfire2258</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 1:33pm<b>subhaan786</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:37pm<b>carecow</b> - the 05/24/2014 at 10:32pm<b>redwill85</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:59am<b>Wizardo</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:59pm<b>flufee2</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:46pm<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 2:06pm

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jordanb19's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14653) - you deserved it (1706)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, my older brother thinks typing out a Wikipedia article for an essay is not plagiarism, because he didn't "copy and paste" it. He's in college. FML

#21300403
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (1945)

On 11/16/2014 at 10:46pm - misc - by areyouserious (man) - United States (California)

Today, I excitedly told my mom that I'm pregnant with my second child. She shot back, "You know what's a REAL achievement? Jacking your dad off in church last week without anyone noticing. Aim higher." I really didn't need to know that. FML

#21294899
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39077) - you deserved it (3395)

On 11/08/2014 at 6:02pm - kids - by jennabee97 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I swapped out my maternity gown for a regular old t-shirt. My visiting mother-in-law called me a fatass and said I need to lose weight. I'd given birth just 40 hours earlier. FML

Today, my boyfriend kept jiggling my fat rolls while we were cuddling. I was annoyed, and I told him he could at least go for my boobs instead. He instantly replied, "But these are bigger..." FML

#21293369
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34174) - you deserved it (7546)

On 11/06/2014 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my shower, I went to clear off my fogged-up mirror. Doing so, I noticed a handprint on it. I compared it to my hand, but it was much too small. I live alone. FML

#21292770
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35361) - you deserved it (2180)

On 11/05/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by spooked - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML

#21286701
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23847) - you deserved it (31297)

On 10/27/2014 at 11:40pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML

#21286332
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48711) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm - love - by subduedbeast - United States

Today, I started my job selling perfume in a department store. I decided to be creative and sprayed a little perfume towards the first person who walked by. She had an allergic reaction, and an ambulance had to be called. FML

#21281002
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19442) - you deserved it (37540)

On 10/19/2014 at 10:24am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34515) - you deserved it (4309)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34212) - you deserved it (12229)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25817) - you deserved it (52015)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my brother and I were talking about Ebola, when he says he would love to have the disease because of how famous it would make him. Plus, his college essays about him "fighting through the disease" would be "phenomenal". FML

#21278125
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34421) - you deserved it (3037)

On 10/15/2014 at 12:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44573) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I cut my hair short and he didn't want people to think he was gay. FML

#21275799
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33943) - you deserved it (6603)

On 10/11/2014 at 8:11pm - misc - by dykerino (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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