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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 9 February 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 949
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About jonagoo : Your planet will live out the rest of it's miserable existence as one of my satellites, and that's how it's going to be.

jonagoo's page activity

Visits<b>AnnaMuffin</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 3:27pm<b>bearclawz44</b> - the 10/07/2015 at 8:50pm<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 12:27pm<b>marmaries</b> - the 01/18/2015 at 11:51pm<b>awesomepantTamia</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 5:40pm<b>dying_to_know</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 4:54pm<b>Vahex</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:15am<b>baby_jezus</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 8:46am<b>Just_Ajay</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 10:55am<b>Paladine</b> - the 11/27/2013 at 6:58pm<b>taylor27gang</b> - the 11/23/2013 at 9:08am<b>jessimalone225</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 9:39pm<b>EmmaMK</b> - the 11/22/2013 at 12:18pm<b>JustBeingAwesome</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 6:18pm<b>awilliams44</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 9:00pm<b>TrackGirl19</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 5:47pm<b>KazuTrumpet1512</b> - the 10/28/2013 at 1:07am<b>panda_waffle22</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 7:48pm

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jonagoo's favorite FMLs

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

by Betchsadface / 07/13/2010 at 12:34am / United States / Animals

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

by Lin / 03/02/2010 at 12:57am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while in bed with my game obsessed girlfriend, she told me I was a "noob" in bed. FML

by anonymous / 02/19/2010 at 8:47pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

by BathroomMuch / 12/25/2009 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first compliment in months. Apparently my body spray makes me smell like a stripper. He then asked me if he could "park the beef bus in tuna town". FML

by Laura_2118 / 12/12/2009 at 2:28am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

Today, I went to McDonalds to get breakfast. I sat my food down at a table and went to get some napkins and a straw. I returned to the table to find that my food was gone, and could hear nothing but "SUCKKAAAA" trailing from the entrance to the restaurant. Some jerk stole my meal. FML

by HungryGirl / 10/24/2009 at 10:45am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

by benander / 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were "fooling around." It started to get hot and he took out his penis for the first time. This was the first one I've seen in real life so I decided I'd complimented it. I had no idea what to say so I said, "It's pretty." FML

by madzlovesgee / 05/16/2009 at 1:44pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, while in our communal showers in the highschool football locker room, I started to swing my penis around because it feels good and I was alone. Two minutes later the rest of the team hops into the shower with me. 30 dudes, one self-induced boner. FML

by JLoistheBomb / 02/10/2009 at 7:01pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy