About jomo111 : Im straight (people call me homo hence the name) and I play lacrosse by San Fransisco. My favorite shows are southpark and 30Rock, and I like any music from scremo to dubstep except most pop like JB and Rihanna and usher and all that trash. (i also use the FML app so don't think Im stalking you when I accidentally click on your account. And don't message cause I won't reply) PSN:jomo111 mw3 and bf3
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jomo111's favorite FMLs
Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML
by j3r3zana16 / 10/31/2011 at 4:30am / Canada / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/31/2011 at 12:12am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, I got into my car after a long shift at work. When I looked in my rear view mirror, a horrifyingly evil face grinned at me from the back window. I leaped out of the car, only to be chased around by two people in clown masks. It turned out to be a prank set up by my co-workers. FML
by Katrin / 10/30/2011 at 3:13pm / Norway / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 7:38am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, while in the grocery store my boyfriend said very loudly "Don't make me hit you in public again!" He says things like this every time we are in the grocery store line. The sad part is that it's better than when he says "Are you gonna pay for the stuff you put in your purse?" FML
by Anonymous / 10/30/2011 at 4:38am / United States (California) / Love
Today, it was my first day on duty as a rookie cop. Everything was going great, and even the veterans on the force were warming up to me. That is until my mother came into the station carrying a brown bag for my lunch. Written on the bag was, "Lunch for my big boy. I love you, pumpkin." FML
by Anonymous / 10/25/2011 at 2:46pm / United States / Work
Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML
by KaySchrages92 / 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 10/24/2011 at 9:33pm / United States / Work
Today, I went to the hospital with a broken hand. They gave me a cast and some prescription pain medication. The only problem is that the bottle of medication is child-proof, I live alone and I can't open it with one hand. FML
by charlotte9338 / 10/23/2011 at 7:32pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Mrs. Terrified / 10/23/2011 at 7:08pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
by titoutou222 / 10/22/2011 at 8:40am / France / Kids
Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML
by socal000 / 10/20/2011 at 8:04am / United States / Health
by optimistic2628 / 10/19/2011 at 10:03am / United States / Kids
Today, my best friend who I have known for ten years recommended I didn't continue a relationship with my girlfriend. I thought she wanted to go out with me which I was hoping for, for a long time. Turns out she wanted to go out with her. FML
by anonymous / 10/19/2011 at 8:19am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
- Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls… Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is… Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the…