About jomo111 : Im straight (people call me homo hence the name) and I play lacrosse by San Fransisco. My favorite shows are southpark and 30Rock, and I like any music from scremo to dubstep except most pop like JB and Rihanna and usher and all that trash. (i also use the FML app so don't think Im stalking you when I accidentally click on your account. And don't message cause I won't reply) PSN:jomo111 mw3 and bf3
jomo111's FML badges
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
jomo111's favorite FMLs
Today, I had an upset stomach. I lay down in bed with a bucket nearby just in case. Later on, the urge to vomit overcame me, and I puked into the bucket. I realised too late that my cat had chosen to sleep in it. He jumped out and spread vomit all over my apartment. FML
by Fat_abott / 01/05/2012 at 3:40pm / France / Animals
Today, I was on the train listening to my iPod on shuffle. The "Oompa Loompa" song came on, and slightly amused, I started humming it. It wasn't until I noticed that the man next to me was a midget that I understood the horrified looks I was getting. FML
by lorahayes / 01/05/2012 at 1:39pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Miscellaneous
by Imgonnahaveabf / 01/05/2012 at 7:06am / United States / Animals
Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML
by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, my mother was watching me play Pokémon. She walked over to the TV and pulled the plug before ranting about how shameful it is that her 17 year old daughter plays Pokémon. She then sat down at the computer and started playing Farmville. FML
by arrowtopatella / 12/24/2011 at 12:15am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML
by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health
by Anonymous / 12/21/2011 at 12:47pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
by stinkyhair / 12/19/2011 at 12:48pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Santa / 12/12/2011 at 4:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, in a store, an obnoxious woman, swearing loudly and slapping at her out-of-control kids, was disrupting the whole place. I said to the cashier, "That nasty woman should leave the brats at home." She gave me a filthy look and said "Do you mind? That's my sister." FML
by oops / 11/30/2011 at 9:15am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
by me / 11/30/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy
Today, at my job as a waitress, I fell, landed on my ass, managing not to spill the drinks or drop the food in my hands. A little boy yelled "NINJA WAITRESS!" Every one at work has been calling me that all day, and purposely been trying to trip me to see if I could do it again. FML
by immy504 / 11/30/2011 at 12:39am / United States (Louisiana) / Work
Today, my boss showed us a small picture of his family on his phone. Jokingly, I commented on how the orange shirt he was wearing reminded me of a big pumpkin. He wasn't wearing an orange shirt. His wife was. FML
by TheCrossingChick / 11/30/2011 at 12:23am / United States (Nevada) / Work
by anon / 11/29/2011 at 6:59pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't…
- Today, I checked in at a hotel, got the keys and went up to my room. However, there seemed to be a… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the…