jolie21

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jolie21

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 January 1993 (23 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1351
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jolie21 : I'm always smiling, and I'm currently studying for my masters in astrophysics.Thats just about it.

jolie21's page activity

Visits<b>drunkmunkey</b> - the 01/21/2016 at 11:03pm<b>ihmmil</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 7:23am<b>wuellmar</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 3:57am<b>BamaBorn</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 11:47pm<b>krayzie2392</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:57pm<b>takerfan</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 6:57pm<b>BiGTiMeNeRD</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:51pm<b>pradip</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:20am<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:13am<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:09am<b>trailyss</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 2:38pm<b>ironmany</b> - the 04/26/2015 at 3:49am<b>jonjonguapito</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:25pm<b>mathen</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:26am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:01pm<b>lonewolf621</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 6:59pm<b>guitardude69</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 5:13pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 2:13pm

Fucked!<b>BiGTiMeNeRD</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 10:51pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:09pm

jolie21's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of jolie21's badges

jolie21's favorite FMLs

Today, I got dumped because I was on my period. Apparently he was pissed because I have one "like, every single month." FML

Today, I took my cat to the vet. He said he felt a strange lump that could be serious. I got really upset and picked her up, crying. The vet then told me I had to put her down. Absolutely devastated by having to euthanize my cat, I passed out. He meant I had to put her back on the table. FML

by sadcat / 02/06/2010 at 10:19am / United States (New Hampshire) / Animals

Today, I was looking at my wedding pictures I had just ordered and I tried to flick something off one of the pictures, but it wouldn't come off. In a panic I quickly looked through all of my pictures and realized that I had a booger sticking out of my nose. No one told me. FML

by boogerbrain / 12/09/2009 at 4:06pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, while sleeping over at my guy friend's house, I woke up mid-air after falling off his abnormally high loft bed. Luckily, there was a table and 3 shot glasses to break my fall. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2009 at 7:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

by Sissy / 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML

by P0wned / 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm / France (Bretagne) / Love

Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, while trying to get my attention, my dog got her nail stuck in a usb port in my laptop. She freaked out and ran off, dragging it off my lap and through the house before if came off. Her nail was only slightly chipped- my laptop now has a cracked screen. FML

by stpddog / 07/25/2009 at 2:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

by RachelDC / 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, I went to my 7 year old son's school for a conference with his teacher. When I got there, the teacher said "she adored me for who and what I am". I was puzzled. Turns out my son told his class that I am a "lesbian American." Wrong. I'm Lebanese-American. FML

by lebanesewoman / 06/30/2009 at 12:17pm / Hong Kong / Kids

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years and I decided to have sex for the first time. When we were in the room, finally ready to start, she confessed that she had never seen a penis before. To make her more comfortable, I showed her mine. At the sight of it, well, she actually fainted. FML

by herve / 05/22/2009 at 3:50pm / Lebanon (Beyrouth) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

by Anonymous / 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm / United States (Kentucky) / Animals

Today, one of my three-year-old twin daughters asked, "Dad, can we get a cat?" I replied in a gentle dad voice, "No, honey, dad is allergic to cats. That means they make him sneeze and sniffle. So we can't get a cat. Sorry." After a slight pause, the other asked, "When you die can we get a cat?" FML

by TwinDad / 05/14/2009 at 11:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I saw a girl I knew from high school at the DMV and she started leaning forward. I thought she was leaning into hug me. So I just began to hug her. She was actually trying to throw something in the garbage. FML

by Anonymous / 04/23/2009 at 6:07am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous