Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

jolie21

Search for a member

jolie21

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 January 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 607
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jolie21 : I'm always smiling, and I'm currently studying for my masters in astrophysics.Thats just about it.

jolie21's page activity

Visits<b>mathen</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:26am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 10:01pm<b>lonewolf621</b> - the 06/15/2014 at 6:59pm<b>the_rude_dude</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 4:28pm<b>guitardude69</b> - the 03/04/2014 at 5:13pm<b>JMichael</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 2:13pm<b>Secret_Ninjaa</b> - the 02/12/2014 at 11:55am<b>ironmany</b> - the 02/04/2014 at 3:33pm<b>dre82</b> - the 02/01/2014 at 4:37pm<b>A07</b> - the 01/31/2014 at 5:53am<b>Straya_for_life</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 9:05am<b>colton_colton</b> - the 01/19/2014 at 1:27pm<b>IceMan11</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 8:47am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/03/2014 at 3:45am<b>swaggalikethat</b> - the 01/02/2014 at 3:00am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 01/01/2014 at 9:57am<b>hockeychick27</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 5:39pm<b>bballer4life895</b> - the 12/28/2013 at 8:56am

jolie21's FML badges

You sure know how to party?

You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of jolie21's badges

jolie21's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

#21011588
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38342) - you deserved it (3731)

On 12/31/2013 at 1:22pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my mom called to bestow upon me warm holiday pearls of wisdom: "I hope you aren't giving everyone your natural handmade eco-shit again. Gifts should be returnable. And have a price." FML

Today, my 13-year-old daughter excitedly told me about a new diet she read about online. Apparently, the diet entirely consists of bottled water and a mixture of food coloring. The food coloring "takes care of all that vitamin and mineral stuff." My daughter is an idiot. FML

#20985898
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46083) - you deserved it (7200)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:52am - kids - by Nofoodcoloringisnotasubstituteforfood (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML

#20976563
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38956) - you deserved it (3363)

On 12/01/2013 at 1:02am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway

Today, while working as a paramedic, we got called to an assisted living home. The medical emergency? The woman had a leak in her bathroom and wanted it fixed. FML

#20931468
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34403) - you deserved it (2225)

On 10/23/2013 at 6:41pm - health - by random - United States (Texas)

Today, even after loving him unconditionally, my originally 340 pound morbidly obese husband, who within the past two years lost almost 200 pounds, left me because now, he "can do so much better". FML

#20874079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70871) - you deserved it (3969)

On 09/09/2013 at 3:19am - love - by heartbroken - United States (California)

Today, my daughter managed to crash my car. It's okay though, the insurance will cover it. However, it won't cover all the items she damaged crashing into a garage sale. FML

#20856229
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37971) - you deserved it (3056)

On 08/27/2013 at 6:17am - kids - by Idontknowwhattodo (man) - United States (California)

Today, the people fixing my phone called to say that for some reason, my phone's SIM card has wiped all my contacts except for four, and they are doing their best to try and recover the rest. I had to explain to them that I only had four contacts to begin with. The guy laughed. FML

#20567905
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39882) - you deserved it (5177)

On 03/31/2013 at 3:00am - misc - by Mr.no contacts (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (6005)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (2085)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33289) - you deserved it (2837)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12098) - you deserved it (25732)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

#19750023
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30450) - you deserved it (4570)

On 06/07/2012 at 2:12pm - health - by LaurenB (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (2661)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I was at work, and was told to clean up the urine that a child had left down the slide inside the play place. While in the slide, another little kid peed on my head. FML

#18538451
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26186) - you deserved it (2154)

On 12/17/2011 at 7:19pm - work - by kellb123 - United States (North Carolina)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: