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jolenetschida

Offline (the 07/24/2014 at 4:17am) | Search for a member

jolenetschida

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 August 1995 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 225
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jolenetschida : I'm eighteen. In college. An EMT student. Missionary.

jolenetschida's page activity

Visits<b>MrItalia</b> - the 03/23/2014 at 6:08am<b>superpoptart</b> - the 12/25/2012 at 1:41am

jolenetschida's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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You went as far as reading the terms of use. You’re a total FML completist.

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jolenetschida's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15299) - you deserved it (25414)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML

#20071462
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25820) - you deserved it (2643)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:13am - misc - by MexicanMe (woman) - United States

Today, it's been a week since I've been in hospital. No one has been to visit me. The nurses have nicknamed me "The Lonely One." FML

#20071345
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27104) - you deserved it (1617)

On 09/14/2012 at 6:17am - misc - by lonely one - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

#20071299
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (12416)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35934) - you deserved it (2278)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML

#20070762
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26058) - you deserved it (4578)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by EvilMother (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30108) - you deserved it (7364)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML

#20070673
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18176) - you deserved it (3204)

On 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm - love - by TaffyMichele (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I stumbled across "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" on TV and realized that these awful freaks are going to make more money than I ever will. FML

#20070573
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24803) - you deserved it (2563)

On 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my car alarm went off at a funeral, three times. FML

#20070406
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19598) - you deserved it (3071)

On 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, on our first holiday together, my boyfriend decided to spend his time reminiscing about having come here once with his ex. He then decided to go type up an email to her about it. FML

#20070220
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21904) - you deserved it (1809)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:46pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had my first accident in 5 years of driving. I clipped a Ford Fiesta, mirror to mirror. His mirror is totally destroyed. Mine is fine. I was so stressed afterwards that I reversed straight into another car. FML

#20070204
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18657) - you deserved it (7528)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:25pm - money - by Arcam (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23678) - you deserved it (3876)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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