About jolenetschida : I'm eighteen. In college. An EMT student. Missionary.
jolenetschida's FML badges
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I NEED to know!
jolenetschida's favorite FMLs
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 10:50am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I had breakfast with his grandmother. She told him how I'm prettier than "that Mexican" he'd brought home for dinner last week. We had dinner with her last week, and I'm that same Mexican. She then went on to how Mexicans are what's wrong with the economy. FML
by MexicanMe / 09/14/2012 at 10:13am / United States / Miscellaneous
by lonely one / 09/14/2012 at 6:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML
by TallGal / 09/14/2012 at 4:26am / United States (Arizona) / Love
Today, I was happy to finally receive an email from my younger sister, whom I have not been able to talk to for months due to being in the military stationed overseas. The email was to tell me my mom is in jail. FML
by HeyArnold91 / 09/14/2012 at 1:57am / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 1:28am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, after having a long talk with my mother about gays, she told me that she was totally open. I felt completely relieved, being gay myself. Seconds later, she said, "But not for you. I want you to find me a nice girl that can give me lots of grand kids." FML
by EvilMother / 09/13/2012 at 8:57pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend told me to text him when I got home to let him know I'd made it home safe. He said if I didn't, he'd assume that aliens had abducted me and that he'd get a new girlfriend. He was completely serious. FML
by TaffyMichele / 09/13/2012 at 7:38pm / United States (California) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 6:29pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 4:37pm / United Kingdom (Essex) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 09/13/2012 at 1:46pm / United Kingdom / Love
Today, I had my first accident in 5 years of driving. I clipped a Ford Fiesta, mirror to mirror. His mirror is totally destroyed. Mine is fine. I was so stressed afterwards that I reversed straight into another car. FML
by Arcam / 09/13/2012 at 1:25pm / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Money
Today, I invited my boyfriend to his first dinner out with my family. As my older brother was discussing the injuries he'd received while working as a tow truck driver, my innocent 10 year old brother piped up saying he should see what I did to my boyfriend's back with my nails. FML
by SerendipityRose / 09/13/2012 at 1:03pm / United States (California) / Kids
Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML
by PissOffPottermore / 09/13/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Illinois) / Kids
- Today, while getting intimate with me boyfriend, he was sucking and biting on my inner thighs when… Today, I found out that my sister scheduled her cesarean for the afternoon of opening night for the… Today, My friend came into class and randomly decided to bite me hard enough to leave a bite marks…