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jolenetschida

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jolenetschida
  • Town/Country : Sheridan, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 14 August 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 186
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About jolenetschida : I'm eighteen. In college. An EMT student. Missionary.

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jolenetschida's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. She pulled down my trousers, saw my Poke-ball boxers, and absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bed for the next 10 minutes hearing her howl with laughter while crying "Dickachu, I choose you!" FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48326) - you deserved it (57897)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8977) - you deserved it (37146)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking on the phone with my crush. After an hour of talking she told me, "If you were half as hot as you sound over the phone, I'd date you immediately." Maybe I should give up on love and start a phone sex line. FML

#20078825
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (1949)

On 09/19/2012 at 2:24am - intimacy - by annonymous - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house. She'd told me not to ring the doorbell and just come in so that I wouldn't wake her dad up. As I walked upstairs, her father walked out of the bathroom naked. We locked eyes. I can't get the image out of my head. FML

#20078726
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19254) - you deserved it (2850)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by Burntintomyretinas - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spent ten minutes looking for my cell phone in the dark, only to realize the light I was using was my cell phone's. FML

#20078695
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6160) - you deserved it (26572)

On 09/19/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by unaware - United States (Ohio)

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

#20078344
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21038) - you deserved it (1409)

On 09/18/2012 at 8:42pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21743) - you deserved it (4028)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

#20077937
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22225) - you deserved it (1220)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by useyourownbed (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

#20077908
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27014) - you deserved it (3231)

On 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm - kids - by unfortunateMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, after having lost 11 pounds following my pregnancy, I felt sexy and put on a cute outfit for my husband. When he walked into the bedroom, he ended up passing me three times, and then went to bed without a word. FML

#20077825
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21677) - you deserved it (2276)

On 09/18/2012 at 2:24pm - love - by tiffany - Canada

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21074) - you deserved it (3788)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, thinking I was alone in my house, I went downstairs in my underwear, singing at the top of my voice. I strutted into the kitchen to find two middle-aged men I'd never seen before sat at the kitchen table, drinking coffee. Turns out they will be painting our house for the next two weeks. FML

#20077635
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20433) - you deserved it (3510)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:48am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML

#20077596
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17460) - you deserved it (3148)

On 09/18/2012 at 10:04am - misc - by dearbailee (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a glorious sunrise, fresh coffee, and a bleached lawn. My neighbors on both sides have constantly fought with each other since before I even moved in, which I guess explains the note taped to my window saying, "Pick a side." FML

#20071743
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (1096)

On 09/14/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by thefuckman (man) - United States

Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML

#20071617
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20375) - you deserved it (1661)

On 09/14/2012 at 12:51pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States



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