jokeson_me

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jokeson_me

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 18 May 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 593
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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jokeson_me's page activity

Visits<b>freeport_aidan</b> - the 05/08/2016 at 2:54pm<b>Austin4938</b> - the 02/19/2016 at 7:42pm<b>Grayy</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:07am<b>ratman775</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:06pm<b>timaeusTestified</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 5:56am<b>TimTheLeg</b> - the 10/26/2015 at 4:21pm<b>zuvi9</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 3:06am<b>niksatter96</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:48pm<b>Cyrus00</b> - the 06/22/2015 at 11:00pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 10:49am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 10:36pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 4:27pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 5:44pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:38am<b>PAsurvivor</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 11:01pm<b>PresAgent</b> - the 12/05/2013 at 1:03am<b>oj101</b> - the 04/27/2013 at 9:00am<b>tylervu11170</b> - the 02/06/2013 at 2:47pm

jokeson_me's FML badges

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Beginner

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It’s in the can

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jokeson_me's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

by GingerJ / 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I went on a date with a guy I've had a crush on for a while. I shaved my legs and armpits and wore a short dress. It wasn't until I got to the meeting that I noticed I only shaved one of my legs. FML

by bigmistake / 12/23/2011 at 10:22pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I discovered the reason my favorite stick of deodorant hasn't smelled right for the past two weeks. My dad uses it on his butt crack and balls "to clean up the stank". FML

by Anonymous / 08/08/2011 at 3:16am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, while on student exchange in Germany, I was making myself a cup of coffee. When I rummaged around in the fridge, my room-mates asked me what I was looking for. I said I wanted to put "samen" in my coffee. They laughed. Ah yes, "sahne" means "cream". "Samen" means "sperm". FML

by Hum / 07/02/2011 at 5:50pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

by Anonymous / 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy

Today, I told my husband that I was going to get a swimsuit from the Victoria's Secret catalog. He replied, "Are you going to get the body to go with it?" FML

by heather / 06/20/2011 at 6:25pm / Canada / Love

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, at dinner, my grandmother informed us that my cousin's newborn baby has been having seizures. My verbal filter did not switch on in time and I replied, "It's not a seizure if you're shaking it." FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2010 at 4:04pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was helping my friend create an online dating profile. When she got her search results, her #1 match was a blonde guy only 10 miles from her. His description: genuine, laid back, and ready for fun. He left off something kind of important. He's already married. To me. FML

by betrayed / 07/19/2010 at 1:36pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I had a dream about toasting with champagne. Whilst asleep, I extended my hand to toast, then brought my hand to my mouth to "drink the bubbly." I knocked over the glass of water I keep on my bedside table. My iPhone is now ruined, and in shock of my wet arm, I jerked backward headbutting my wife's face. FML

by AdamFoundHisEve / 05/25/2010 at 3:08pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at basketball practice and my coach asked me how my knee was. When I lifted my pants to show him, my cheetah print thong that had been stuck inside the pants from the dryer flew out to the ground. FML

by Mackdaddy / 02/07/2010 at 9:21am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

by NoPainNoGain / 06/05/2009 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Health