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jojo66567's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
jojo66567's favorite FMLs
by Jeff / 03/02/2010 at 10:53am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I was listening to my favorite radio station outta Detroit. A commercial came on for a program that was giving federal grants to people who were going into a trade, like me. Right as I was getting excited I heard the words "brought to you by the government of Canada." FML
by brit / 02/11/2010 at 12:13am / United States (Colorado) / Work
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
by Blah / 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on Facebook when I saw a link about what Pokémon would look like if they had genitals. I'm not quite sure why, but I decided to click it, and at that exact moment, my brother and his friend walked in. They told my mom I was looking at Pokémon porn. I'll never be able to live this down. FML
by grounded / 01/03/2010 at 11:40am / United Kingdom (Gloucestershire) / Intimacy
by Jen / 12/27/2009 at 8:36pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I slipped as I was about to take a shower, knocking myself out cold. I woke up to someone banging on my door. It was a cop checking to see if I was okay. When I asked how he knew to come, he said he was notified by "a male neighbor who called anonymously." I guess I have a peeping Tom. FML
by ThatAintLogical / 12/18/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Louisiana) / Health
Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML
by Anonymous / 10/28/2009 at 4:03am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by betchyo / 10/01/2009 at 2:10am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, I was giving a speech to my 300 some-odd person class. All throughout it, people had been giggling and cackling while I was speaking. I soon realized that my pants had been unzipped. I accidentally fell asleep with all my underwear in the washer last night and had gone commando that day. FML
by BluesMan1990 / 09/16/2009 at 6:21am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about losing my virginity last night. When I went downstairs, my 6 year old sister was digging through my purse. She explained that she had overheard my conversation and wanted to help me find my virginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML
by bubbalicious / 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I was talking to the girl I've liked for 2 years. We were assigned partners for a History project so we were going to work on it at my house. When she asked me for directions, I told her I lived on Woodcock Road. She yelled slapped me and stormed off. I was serious. FML
by thicklysettled / 07/20/2009 at 12:04am / United States (Massachusetts) / Love
Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML
by i.ask.you.how. / 07/12/2009 at 2:05am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up and decided to get the morning paper, I went outside with my bath robe on and when I leaned down to get my paper my bath robe came undone. Apparently everyone on my street saw it and decided to bring up public nudity at the next neighborhood meeting. FML
by Embarresedguy / 07/03/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns £10,000 more than me. FML
by girlfriday / 06/11/2009 at 11:21am / United Kingdom (London) / Work