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jojo66567's FML badges
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
jojo66567's favorite FMLs
Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML
by orgasmicriding / 12/22/2012 at 5:55pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/10/2012 at 3:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by bill219 / 12/07/2012 at 5:40pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by julia / 11/30/2012 at 8:02pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by Danny / 05/28/2012 at 2:02pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Intimacy
by me / 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend has a new obsession: grabbing my junk and whispering in my ear the song, "Baby, Imma Be Your Motivation." Problem? I get an instant boner and she only does it in public, because it's "funny as hell." FML
by InstantHardOn / 11/07/2011 at 11:43pm / United States / Intimacy
by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, my mom took a bright red sharpie and drew a red circle just above my breasts. She said, "If I can see this, ever, your shirt is either too low cut or too see through and it will be thrown away." FML
by Cassandra / 10/13/2011 at 8:10pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was baking cookies. I stared at them for 15 minutes and finally asked my dad, "Why are these taking so long?" He looked up at the oven and replied, "It might help if you turn the oven on." FML
by Kendal / 08/23/2011 at 2:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, my girlfriend came over to stay the night. Before she arrived, I popped a viagra to spice things up. She then informed me that she was on her period and didn't feel comfortable doing it. I had a headache and a massive boner all night. FML
by RohnAbheek / 08/21/2011 at 1:36pm / India (Maharashtra) / Intimacy
by fml / 08/12/2011 at 2:14am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/26/2011 at 12:30am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2011 at 3:42am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, it's been six months since my husband and I have miscarried our daughter who we named Hana… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…
- Today, it has been a week since I moved into my new house. Turns out that the previous owner of the… Today I received a phone call for a reservation (I'm a B&B owner) for 12 firefighters (he said they… Today, my loneliness hit an all time low when I actually considered "accidentally" texting a random…