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jojo66567

Offline (the 09/23/2014 at 3:12pm) | Search for a member

jojo66567

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 16 June 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 562
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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jojo66567's page activity

Visits<b>Starko</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 1:19pm<b>lexjluther</b> - the 02/18/2013 at 3:17am<b>devinsrios</b> - the 02/17/2013 at 11:55pm

jojo66567's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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jojo66567's favorite FMLs

Today, I realized that the air freshener in my bathroom and the air freshener in my girlfriend's bedroom are the exact same scent. Now, every time I go to the bathroom I get an erection, and every time my girlfriend and I have sex in her room, I think about shitting. FML

#20503125
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38572) - you deserved it (7848)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:59pm - intimacy - by thefriedman (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24488) - you deserved it (4798)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

#20494543
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35637) - you deserved it (3151)

On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41346) - you deserved it (12292)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8771) - you deserved it (46356)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML

#20491836
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11229) - you deserved it (28735)

On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48591) - you deserved it (5855)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31534) - you deserved it (3235)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32436) - you deserved it (8767)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31461) - you deserved it (2655)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30711) - you deserved it (8778)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39059) - you deserved it (5377)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my mom what her biggest craving was when she was pregnant with me. Her answer: an abortion. FML

#20449894
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49326) - you deserved it (4756)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by kk - United States

Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML

#20428799
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22589) - you deserved it (44630) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/28/2012 at 8:21pm - misc - by ELparano - Canada



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