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johnmleech

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1225
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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johnmleech's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked in on my dad introducing his stuffed gorilla to his cat. FML

#19625273
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (2469)

On 05/14/2012 at 11:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML

#19618681
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (4994)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML

#19602303
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27545) - you deserved it (1961)

On 05/10/2012 at 11:45am - misc - by PollingLow (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to the beach. While I was enjoying the sun, an old man with prosthetic leg and no clothes on sat next to me. He took off his fake leg and put it behind his head. Then he opened his legs revealing his "stuff." I will never unsee this. Ever. FML

#19595886
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (2123)

On 05/09/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by aligator1009 - United States

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

#19592995
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24820) - you deserved it (4577)

On 05/08/2012 at 4:48pm - kids - by A-64 (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

#19592298
372 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30247) - you deserved it (3069)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm - misc - by wtf is wrong with my country (man) - United States

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

#19590549
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19861) - you deserved it (2493)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML

#19586113
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29176) - you deserved it (4674)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML

#19566748
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23466) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/03/2012 at 12:39am - love - by homealone (man) - Canada

Today, I accidentally adopted a dolphin for $125. FML

#19566058
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10910) - you deserved it (27046)

On 05/02/2012 at 10:39pm - money - by Optimus_Prime97 - United States

Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML

#19522939
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22989) - you deserved it (17298)

On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new dog unburied my old dog and chewed on his bones. FML

#19520416
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43464) - you deserved it (3140)

On 04/24/2012 at 1:42am - animals - by jessica071509 - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (5481)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that last night, my son snuck downstairs at 3am, drank two glasses of my very expensive wine, threw up on his bed, and then slept in his own vomit. My son is 14. FML

#19517989
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29883) - you deserved it (5481)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:51pm - kids - by sadmommy - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out my boyfriend and I have more in common than I thought. We both are sexually attracted to men. FML



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