Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

johnmleech

Search for a member

johnmleech

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1159
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

johnmleech's page activity

Visits<b>koppgurl2</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:32am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:06am<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:30pm<b>BumbleChick</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:15pm<b>ErinMeepMeep</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Birdbath123</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 5:00pm<b>sierraleeannee</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 7:40pm<b>SweetSwede</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:47am<b>starlight300</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 5:22pm<b>Cash352</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 11:32am<b>shaar</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 8:59am<b>peopleses1</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 1:52pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 8:54pm<b>iBeCareless</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 11:12am<b>Mallory_Mariie</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 8:08pm<b>Vanny69</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 2:35pm<b>sarajane18</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 8:54pm<b>d_barkley16</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 6:51am

johnmleech's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of johnmleech's badges

johnmleech's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33639) - you deserved it (2794)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35362) - you deserved it (4044)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32047) - you deserved it (4548) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44760) - you deserved it (4451)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

#20483291
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27027) - you deserved it (1818)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

#20483320
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45399) - you deserved it (5932) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29212) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29212) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

#20482358
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49225) - you deserved it (13923)

On 01/28/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by yourmainman (man) - Canada

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (7861)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

#20481657
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38951) - you deserved it (7861)

On 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45613) - you deserved it (4736)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42966) - you deserved it (2368)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33988) - you deserved it (5798)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico



FML's blog

  • Jim Trim's Illustrated FML
  • Action stations! I'm back from my holiday, I've got some sort of weirdly uneven tan and I already want to go back to the beach to bum about and finish off my colouring book. But I can't. I'm still…

Friday 29 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: