johnmleech

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johnmleech

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2438
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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johnmleech's page activity

Visits<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 1:13pm<b>anonymous0110902</b> - the 03/19/2016 at 1:18am<b>whatahatuis</b> - the 02/28/2016 at 1:40pm<b>Addiction333</b> - the 02/14/2016 at 5:50pm<b>sky_R03</b> - the 02/07/2016 at 11:38am<b>tVictoria</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 11:48am<b>paigexox0</b> - the 11/06/2015 at 3:37pm<b>Kitty1811</b> - the 10/27/2015 at 7:10am<b>saucybugger101</b> - the 09/28/2015 at 3:32pm<b>DeathofCareBear</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 7:56am<b>vintral88</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 2:31am<b>moo_mima_moo</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 6:17am<b>swaglesshipster</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 1:08am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 4:29am<b>pineappleeater</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 12:30pm<b>reillyg11</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:31pm<b>aishah77</b> - the 03/16/2015 at 7:36pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 02/27/2015 at 5:04pm

Fucked!<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 05/16/2016 at 7:12pm

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johnmleech's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

by cay / 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

by Denki / 01/30/2013 at 7:21am / China (Beijing) / Love

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

by jay ze punk / 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

by Awkward... / 01/29/2013 at 4:40am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

by Anonymous / 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, it's been two months since I got a kitten. He loves to hide, and then surprise me by jumping out of his hiding place. It was quite a surprise when he launched himself out of my bag during class. FML

by Kitten_Love / 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm / Animals

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

by hopelessteej / 01/28/2013 at 8:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML

by yourmainman / 01/28/2013 at 12:03am / Canada / Intimacy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, after making love to my boyfriend for the first time, he shook my hand and said, "Good job." FML

by Anonymous / 01/27/2013 at 5:44pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I heard an owl near my house. I got excited, as they are not common in the area, and I listened intently to try and locate the source of the sound. After a few minutes, I realized I was not listening to an owl, but to my mother's sex noises. FML

by movingout / 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I told my boyfriend about my upcoming mouth surgery. He freaked out. Not because he's worried about me, but because I told him I will not be able to give him head for two weeks. FML

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

by protoplasm stole my seat / 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

by great / 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm / Puerto Rico / Intimacy