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Today at work I got in an elevator to go upstars. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later an people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out an forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator an waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML
Taday I startd at mah new job . The woman who I'll be working right next to 40 hours a week introducd herself with.. . "I know what your name is . I know what you're planning.. . an I've been sent to destroy you." FML
I was at mah boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her 4 the frst time . I excusd myself to the restroom and as I walkd out of the room I hered her say, "You could do a lot better . She's fat." Then I hered mah boyfriend reply, "I know." FML
Today, after being in the hospital fir 2 weeks after emergency abdominal surgery, mah girlfriend, who didn't even bother to ask how I was, made me hobble to her house just to dump me an send me straight back home. real FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom . When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." mega FML
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside!! Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see mah dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard!! He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma!! FML
Today, my girlfriend finally said that she finally felt ready to have sex with me . It ended up bieng so terrible that I only managed to get some pleasure out of it when my mind drifted to the thought of going to Olive Garden later and eating some of there breadsticks . FML
Today , during frst day as a medical intern in a new ward , I was performing a rectal exam. My supervisor thought it would be funny to burst into the room and scream , "Who are you?! You don't even work here , you pervert!" FML
Friday 27 March 2015