Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

johnmleech

Search for a member

johnmleech

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1165
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

johnmleech's page activity

Visits<b>koppgurl2</b> - the 08/14/2014 at 11:32am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 9:06am<b>Caylee_G</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 3:30pm<b>BumbleChick</b> - the 04/20/2014 at 4:15pm<b>ErinMeepMeep</b> - the 03/27/2014 at 7:43pm<b>Birdbath123</b> - the 02/15/2014 at 5:00pm<b>sierraleeannee</b> - the 02/09/2014 at 7:40pm<b>SweetSwede</b> - the 02/05/2014 at 12:47am<b>starlight300</b> - the 10/27/2013 at 5:22pm<b>Cash352</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 11:32am<b>shaar</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 8:59am<b>peopleses1</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 1:52pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 03/14/2013 at 8:54pm<b>iBeCareless</b> - the 01/26/2013 at 11:12am<b>Mallory_Mariie</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 8:08pm<b>Vanny69</b> - the 12/20/2012 at 2:35pm<b>sarajane18</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 8:54pm<b>d_barkley16</b> - the 12/19/2012 at 6:51am

johnmleech's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of johnmleech's badges

johnmleech's favorite FMLs

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend for the first time, and she reached down to feel me up. When her hands got there, she stopped and said, "You're not even hard..." I was. FML

#20618445
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74971) - you deserved it (9076)

On 04/24/2013 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my brother giving his best friend a hand-job. I can't unsee this. FML

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by egging by some bastard riding a segway. He still got away. FML

#20606053
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39135) - you deserved it (8597)

On 04/19/2013 at 9:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand

Today, I posted a video of a dance I choreographed on Facebook. I got a notification a few hours later telling me that my grandpa had also shared it. His caption? "My granddaughter dances like a gay baboon and this dance sucks balls. Throw grapes at her." Thanks grandpa. FML

#20604301
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47196) - you deserved it (9137)

On 04/19/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by thanks gramps - Canada (Yukon Territory)

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's a lesbian. And that she could only stay with me because I had a "girly face and voice". She also admitted to having a crush on my sister. FML

#20600192
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55334) - you deserved it (4705)

On 04/17/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by wut... (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's house. After asking him what was wrong due to his weird attitude, he responded with, "This isn't working; I'm in love with my sister." FML

#20592364
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64852) - you deserved it (3941)

On 04/14/2013 at 11:45pm - love - by lonely (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband eating cat food out of the cat bowl dressed in a cat costume. FML

#20577178
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51176) - you deserved it (5642)

On 04/06/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by confusedcatlover (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

#20576074
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36516) - you deserved it (2580)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I got a letter from Yale law school saying I got a 4 year full scholarship. I called my dad crying and read the whole thing... even the bottom, which said, "April fools! Love mom and dad." FML

#20570035
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58842) - you deserved it (5943)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by madiison09 - United States

Today, I spent three hours painstakingly installing and configuring some parental control software on my 11-year-old son's laptop after I caught him watching porn. Barely an hour after returning the laptop, I caught him watching yet more porn on it. FML

#20557646
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31131) - you deserved it (12719)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:30am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27555) - you deserved it (2258)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

#20518411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (6080)

On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39079) - you deserved it (10322)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

#20515924
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36788) - you deserved it (10114)

On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)

Today, my son asked me if the short films I write are for little kids or for adults. Since I write horror-filled films, I said it was for adults. He went and told his teacher that I made "adult films". FML

#20514612
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34248) - you deserved it (4668)

On 02/20/2013 at 7:01am - kids - by Laila - United States



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: