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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32327) - you deserved it (7299)
On 04/08/2013 at 5:17am - intimacy - by dancekat (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, feeling tired, I snuck one of my wife's pills that she claims gives her super energy. I later found out it was our son's placenta, grounded up and made into capsules. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30051) - you deserved it (9632)
On 04/01/2013 at 12:49am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I walked into the room naked while my wife was on the computer to surprise her. She smiled, put down her laptop and left for the bathroom so I started jerking it in anticipation. It was really feeling good until my wife's best friend, who was on Skype, started giggling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37529) - you deserved it (14826)
On 03/19/2013 at 8:31am - intimacy - by fredo (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, a technician from my ISP came to my house to replace my router. He asked for a glass of water, one thing led to another, and for some reason I'll never fully understand, we ended up having sex. Looks like porn logic is not so far off the mark after all. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14227) - you deserved it (49613)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:50pm - intimacy - by je_regrette_tout (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8334) - you deserved it (18941)
On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29515) - you deserved it (2879)
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10395) - you deserved it (31254)
On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37002) - you deserved it (3014)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31307) - you deserved it (2939) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, if you live in California, you might have seen a crazy drunk guy naked in front of a McDonald's, waving at everyone. Yeah, that was probably me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6042) - you deserved it (19956)
On 05/13/2012 at 6:30pm - misc - by smh (man) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML
I agree, your life sucks (48304) - you deserved it (2257)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I became a father. Unfortunately, my wife found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6782) - you deserved it (99531)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:16pm - misc - by Major3 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17806) - you deserved it (4011)
On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my husband thought it would be "funny" to put laxatives in the cakes for my son's 7th birthday party. Over 40 kids came to the party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26624) - you deserved it (2592)
On 01/25/2012 at 11:18pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34243) - you deserved it (2508)
On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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