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joeytheman

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joeytheman
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 470
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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joeytheman's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

#19615713
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25323) - you deserved it (2504)

On 05/13/2012 at 8:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

#19609899
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7989) - you deserved it (45576)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML

#19602303
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24892) - you deserved it (1746)

On 05/10/2012 at 11:45am - misc - by PollingLow (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

#19354471
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16357) - you deserved it (1714)

On 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

#19222051
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21463) - you deserved it (7064)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Alfie4 (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

#19189371
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26153) - you deserved it (5967)

On 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm - misc - by Crying - United States (Michigan)

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

#19189124
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29291) - you deserved it (1748)

On 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm - misc - by ouch (man) - Italy (Emilia-Romagna)

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

#19187510
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15139) - you deserved it (40692)

On 02/29/2012 at 5:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

#19157991
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28618) - you deserved it (2050)

On 02/25/2012 at 12:36am - misc - by Samm Povich - United States

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
405 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36522) - you deserved it (5418)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

#19062488
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31815) - you deserved it (7559)

On 02/13/2012 at 1:00am - love - by Kevin (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's okay, though; she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML

#19034269
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25983) - you deserved it (1859)

On 02/09/2012 at 2:02pm - love - by justfriends - United States

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45092) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50171) - you deserved it (10127)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

#18593025
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13365) - you deserved it (34595)

On 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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