joeytheman

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joeytheman

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1014
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

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joeytheman's page activity

Visits<b>jb143</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 5:55pm<b>hurricane210</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 1:08pm<b>missinthebestie</b> - the 10/30/2013 at 8:48pm<b>challan</b> - the 08/07/2013 at 8:52pm<b>sunflowerchild</b> - the 07/16/2013 at 5:21am<b>hunteryager</b> - the 04/29/2013 at 8:19pm<b>JVVortex</b> - the 04/16/2013 at 2:30pm

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joeytheman's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams to come over for a movie. When I answered the door, my little brother ran up behind me, yelled "geronimo" and pulled down my pants and underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 05/13/2012 at 8:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet.  A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML

by Snickers / 05/12/2012 at 12:27am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I ran for editor-in-chief of a magazine. I spent hours working on my speech, and offered a bunch of new ideas to increase readership. My opponent just said that she, "loved the organization". I lost by a 4-1 margin. My opponent later announced her plans for next year. They were all of my ideas. FML

by PollingLow / 05/10/2012 at 11:45am / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I got pulled into a conversation about my 62 year old boss's new breast implants. FML

by Anonymous / 03/26/2012 at 10:36pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

by Alfie4 / 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, I started crying in class because of a sad part in the book I was reading. I got pulled out into the hallway and my male teacher asked, "Is it your special time?" FML

by Crying / 02/29/2012 at 3:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Geek

Today, after a nice swim at the local pool, I ran into a naked girl in the showers. She screamed, kicked me in the nuts and ran off. I still have no clue what she was doing in the men's shower room. FML

by ouch / 02/29/2012 at 2:18pm / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Miscellaneous

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

by Anonymous / 02/29/2012 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while working as a police dispatcher, I took a call for a motorcycle accident that occurred near my house. After obtaining all the essential information I realized the rider was my brother. He doesn't own a motorcycle, but I do. FML

by Samm Povich / 02/25/2012 at 12:36am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because, I "always wear that stupid little hat." I'm Jewish. FML

by Kevin / 02/13/2012 at 1:00am / United States / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's okay, though; she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML

by justfriends / 02/09/2012 at 2:02pm / United States / Holidays

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2012 at 2:34am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

by nickthetank / 12/31/2011 at 4:21am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Intimacy

Today, I was out clubbing, when some bloke at the bar started trying to pick fights with everyone. Trying to defuse the situation with humour, I said, "I used to be a tough guy like you. Then I took an arrow in the knee." The next thing I know, I have a broken nose. FML

by Anonymous / 12/23/2011 at 9:49pm / Australia / Health