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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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joeye_15

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joeye_15
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 126
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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joeye_15's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad texted me while I was in school saying, "Your cat vomited. Covered it up with a bowl so you can clean it when you come home." FML

#16117188 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (27037) - you deserved it (5265)

On 05/10/2011 at 12:37pm - animals - by coolbeans123 (woman) - Singapore

Today, I lied to my diary about my weight. FML

#15932623 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (16965) - you deserved it (33815)

On 04/26/2011 at 9:56am - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I was walking along when I saw this girl kissing her boyfriend. I thought to myself "I wish I had a boyfriend like that". I'm a guy, and straight. At least I thought I was. FML

#15678976 (365)

I agree, your life sucks (26728) - you deserved it (9694)

On 04/07/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving home at night, and got into an accident. Someone had left a toilet in the middle of the road. I hit it. The toilet's fine, but my car now has a toilet-shaped dent in the front. FML

I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (4415)

On 03/22/2011 at 1:10pm - misc - by jballer - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend said "It's funny how every time we have sex I'm wearing these panties." We've been having sex every day for the last six days. FML

#15002281 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (38214) - you deserved it (4872)

On 02/16/2011 at 12:51pm - intimacy - by Lovenem (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the snowblower found my lost phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks (17749) - you deserved it (3202)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by cs - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (14118) - you deserved it (29731)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my extremely lazy roommate is in bed with the flu. Instead of getting up to get water, he's run the garden hose through his window, and instead of going to the bathroom, he's connected a siphon to his penis and run it to a 5-gallon bucket. I have to live with this idiot. FML

#14626510 (222)

I agree, your life sucks (24132) - you deserved it (3344)

On 01/18/2011 at 1:35pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to use the public restroom. As I saw the toilet paper was out, I could see there was some hanging down from the other stall. As I went to grab it, I felt a hand grab mine and a voice ask seductively, "what were you reaching for?" FML

#13940137 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (19876) - you deserved it (6905)

On 11/22/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by reesemaster (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML

#13915907 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (11667) - you deserved it (38791)

On 11/20/2010 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by pst - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, a cop almost rear-ended my car, slammed on the gas with no warning, swerved around me, flipped me the bird, then cut me off and then drove a full ten miles under the speed limit. When I changed lanes to overtake him, he pulled me over for road rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (2855)

On 11/20/2010 at 9:00am - animals - by serveandprotectyeahright - United States (New York)

Today, my roommate let me know he "bumped" another car with mine. What he really meant was that I need a new rear quarter panel and the very angry BMW driver he hit has all of my information. FML

I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (2361)

On 09/15/2010 at 12:52pm - misc - by Ah piss - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I argued whether getting a period or boner in the middle of class was worse. At the dinner table. FML

#12986098 (413)

I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (9576)

On 09/10/2010 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Me - United States (Washington)

Today, my daughter asked for a dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck while I was on my computer working. Out of my wallet she took a fifty dollar bill. The ice cream man got a big tip before driving off. FML

#12935900 (137)

I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (10086)

On 09/06/2010 at 4:26pm - kids - by BrokebyKids - United States (New York)

Today, I spent forty minutes trying to break into my own house after being locked out. After finally getting in through a small unlocked window, I discovered my keys in my pants pocket. FML

#12481000 (115)

I agree, your life sucks (5925) - you deserved it (26917)

On 08/12/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by Jason (man) - United States (California)



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