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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was browsing the web on my boyfriend's laptop, when I idly clicked a bookmark. It turned out to be his private blog, where he most recently spoke in very creepy detail about his efforts to make me love him, remarking that, "Soon, I'll plant my seed in her breeding hips." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8172) - you deserved it (904)
On 05/22/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my fiancé and I planned a romantic movie night. Champagne, popcorn, romantic comedy. Then his friend decided to show up and they've been talking about 1st generation Pokémon ever since. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5699) - you deserved it (1259)
On 05/21/2012 at 7:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I'm on a trip to Poland with some friends. We came to experience the country's culture, and to challenge our preconceptions about this part of Europe. We had sat on a bench, and not ten seconds later, a stranger approached and asked, "How much for your friend?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (5648) - you deserved it (635) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/15/2012 at 11:59am - misc - by LearnToLive -
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (10336) - you deserved it (1099) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6618) - you deserved it (2149)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10412) - you deserved it (1959)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, I noticed my nephew has blue eyes, freckles and dimples which don't run in my family or my sister's husband's family, but they do run in my husband's family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10078) - you deserved it (986)
On 05/06/2012 at 9:53am - misc - by Damn (woman) - Australia
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6748) - you deserved it (750)
On 05/06/2012 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Kwalker3 - United States (California)
Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4371) - you deserved it (7378)
On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (2128)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3581) - you deserved it (12378) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21257) - you deserved it (5201)
On 04/29/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by ShadowJack - United States
Today, at a concert, I got into a fight with a man in a banana suit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2617) - you deserved it (4246)
On 04/29/2012 at 5:45am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my boyfriend figured out that he can bounce small things off of my boobs, and has been doing it every time I look away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5077) - you deserved it (823)
On 04/28/2012 at 7:36pm - intimacy - by Elise - United States
Today, I found out that my fellow marching band mates all refer to me as the "short girl with big tits" because none of them can remember my name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7001) - you deserved it (912)
On 04/27/2012 at 8:04am - misc - by noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)
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