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Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29573) - you deserved it (3576)
On 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Cpm (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7258) - you deserved it (36873)
On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11166) - you deserved it (23414)
On 11/25/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by TinyDancer22 (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30705) - you deserved it (2184)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8679) - you deserved it (3272)
On 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm - animals - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8971) - you deserved it (36867)
On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8311) - you deserved it (56484)
On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my wife told me that she's pregnant. I said "Really?" in a disbelieving tone, but leaned forward to kiss her anyway. She responded by puking all over my face. Never doubt what a woman says. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22191) - you deserved it (7218)
On 11/10/2009 at 4:00am - love - by dessaye (man) - Singapore
Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (63045) - you deserved it (4397)
On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States
Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25776) - you deserved it (1930)
On 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36609) - you deserved it (5279)
On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31359) - you deserved it (7778)
On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (6421)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25615) - you deserved it (6421)
On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9607) - you deserved it (38830)
On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Monday 20 May 2013
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