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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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jnoel

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jnoel
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 622
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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jnoel's favorite FMLs

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

#6540223 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (27731) - you deserved it (3347)

On 11/30/2009 at 8:55pm - love - by Cpm (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that the plant in my kitchen that I have been watering for almost 2 years is fake. FML

#6453438 (62)

I agree, your life sucks (6496) - you deserved it (34027)

On 11/25/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by IlikeGreenPlants (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I put on my hazard lights, pulled over to the side of the road, and stopped traffic on a busy road to rescue a black cat that had been hit by a car. With everyone watching, I got a towel and slowly approached the cat. It was a garbage bag. FML

#6444346 (122)

I agree, your life sucks (10110) - you deserved it (21879)

On 11/25/2009 at 11:57am - animals - by TinyDancer22 (woman) - United States (Florida)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

#6436745 (91)

I agree, your life sucks (28478) - you deserved it (2046)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

#6436100 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (7624) - you deserved it (21000)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm - animals - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (8311) - you deserved it (34874)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I found out that I'm 8 weeks pregnant. Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be leaving for Paris with my college abstinence group for a year. FML

#6247099 (352)

I agree, your life sucks (7421) - you deserved it (51443)

On 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my wife told me that she's pregnant. I said "Really?" in a disbelieving tone, but leaned forward to kiss her anyway. She responded by puking all over my face. Never doubt what a woman says. FML

#6239846 (61)

I agree, your life sucks (20903) - you deserved it (6844)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:00am - love - by dessaye (man) - Singapore

Today, I drove 600 miles to be with my boyfriend of two years for his uncle's funeral. He didn't want me to come because I am seven months pregnant and flying is dangerous in the third trimester. When I got there I don't know who was more suprised to see me: him, his wife, or their kids. FML

#6210144 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (58518) - you deserved it (4093)

On 11/08/2009 at 10:39am - love - by homewrecker - United States

Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML

#6089701 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (24491) - you deserved it (1800)

On 10/31/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

#6086009 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (33772) - you deserved it (4322)

On 10/31/2009 at 3:40pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

#5991629 (266)

I agree, your life sucks (29035) - you deserved it (7195)

On 10/25/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by roadbikemama (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got home from work and heard the shower in my bathroom running. Thinking my wife was taking a shower, I got completely undressed and walked in. My wife wasn't in the shower, instead I found my daughter and her boyfriend in the shower, making out. There was an awkward moment of silence. FML

#5974378 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (22277) - you deserved it (5728)

On 10/24/2009 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by sad_dad (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

#5954141 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (8650) - you deserved it (31536)

On 10/23/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML

#5910203 (98)

I agree, your life sucks (34884) - you deserved it (4198)

On 10/20/2009 at 6:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)